Your Rules Influence How Happy and Successful You Will Become

At one time, I went on a holiday to a beautiful island. The accommodation we stayed in was good although not as luxurious as the resort nearby. The island however was beautiful, just to sit on the beach and watch the sunrise or sunset was magical.

My friend Julie who accompanied me wasn't happy doing this. Instead of enjoying her surroundings and the beauty of nature, she would watch the rich people staying at the nearby resort and envy how they lived.

Julie constantly compared herself to others who were more prosperous and she found herself and her lifestyle lacking. Julie had constant money problems and wondered why no matter how hard she worked, she never seemed to get what she really wanted.

Our perception of success or happiness is dictated by our rules, and Julie's rules implied that in order for her to be successful and happy, she had to live comfortably. These rules not only prevented her from becoming happy, they also limited her opportunities. The more rigid your rules, the harder it will be for you to achieve and be happy with your goals.

A lot of people live by the 'I'll be happy when... ' rule. They believe they will be happy when they find the right person to share their life with, when they find the right job, when they buy a home of their own, have children, or have more money. When you live by the 'I'll be happy when... ' rule you spend your life striving. It won't matter how much you achieve because it will never be enough.

Sometimes though, rules can serve us and one of mine is that I never make a decision based on fear. Many years ago when I was looking for direction in my own life, I consulted an astrologer and we became quite friendly. Later, when I bought my home I invited her to my house-warming party. She rang to say she couldn't attend and took the opportunity to berate me for buying a house.

She said, 'Anne, how could you buy a house? You know as well as anyone the financial disasters that are going to happen. How could you take on a mortgage at this time?' The disasters that she referred to were predictions of the collapse of our entire financial system, as well as a tidal wave hitting Sydney close to where I live. It hadn't even occurred to me to listen to these dire predictions. I simply followed my intuition, and many years later my home doubled in value while this woman was still renting.

There is nothing good or bad about rules; some rules will make you happy, others will make you unhappy. If you have rules, you need to be aware of them and you discover what your rules are by listening to your words. Any time you say, 'Should', 'Must', or 'Have to', you have discovered one of your rules.

Generally speaking, the more rules you have, the harder you make life for yourself and for those around you. The less 'should' in your life means less stress. That does not mean you have to give up all of your standards, just choose to make conscious choices each time rather than having a lot of blanket rules.