Tips In Avoiding Codependency Relationships

By Karyn Shields


It is not a good thing for people to become codependents. Not only are they bound to suffer, they will also make their partner unhappy. Codependents stay in a relationship and give something to it while expecting something in return. If this codependency mindset is what you have when you are in a relationship, that will surely ruin you.

To people who do not want to continue causing grief to their partners, then they should try to avoid becoming codependents at all cost. There should be some great tips that you can consider when you do not want things to go from worse to worst. Here are various tips you can use when you want to be in a healthy relationship.

First, you better get yourself proper counseling. This is so that you can become healthy. You will be unable to indulge in a healthy relationship if you are unwell personally. Thus, you better aim to become healthy before you aim to improve your relationship. The latter will actually improve once you improve yourself.

There is no need for you to quantify the amount of love you have given to your partner. That is what becoming a codependent means, after all. You are just giving what you expect to be returned to you. If you want a healthy relationship, then you have to give your 100 percent into the relationship without expecting anything back.

Being hurt or getting mad is natural. You are human, after all. However, when you end up getting hurt or you want to get mad, you should first think about the reason behind your behavior. You have to figure out the cause so that you can address it. If you address your hurt, you will end up resolving it properly.

Be sure to understand the idea of personal boundaries between couples. Do not just respect the personal boundaries of your partner, you should also hold yours. You and your partner should make your personal boundaries clear, together with the negotiable gray areas, since these are part of a healthy relationship. Show respect to that.

Being in a heated argument is natural. Being partners does not mean that the two of you should have the same mindset. If the two of you are in an argument, you should do your best to not let out insulting words against your partner. You should never insult them, call them names, or label them. You will not be able to take them back later.

In the case when it is your partner who insults you, you should not let it get to you. Instead of thinking about the insults thrown your way, you should make sure to think about the reason why those words were said in the first place. There might be something wrong and you can only resolve it when you think that way.

Conflicts are inevitable when you are with a partner. It does not matter how long you two have been together or how comfortable you are with each other, there will always be a reason for a fight. If you ever get into a fight, the two of you should decide on what conflict resolution method you will use to make up.




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