What To Know About Codependency

By Leslie Ball


There are many different types of relationships. Codependent ones are recognized as dysfunctional. This is because they include a person who support or enables the addiction, poor mental health, underachievement, immaturity or irresponsibility of another individual. A major sign of codependency is excessive reliance on others for approval and identity.

It is believed that this concept comes from Alcoholics Anonymous, as there is a moment of realization that the issue is not only that of the addict but also his or her family and friends. The co-dependent ideology overlaps with an old psychoanalytic concept of passive dependent personalities latching onto to stronger personalities. Dependency is a familiar term used in psychological literature.



There are different behaviors and symptoms associated with this. Because it has a grassroots origin, the main definition for this is excepted to vary depending on the source. It can generally be described as situational and subclinical, or episodic behavior that is like that of dependent personality disorders.

A broad definition would be that a co-dependent person is incapable of functioning on his or her own. Their thinking and actions are organized around a process, substance or other person. People who are addicted to something, whether it be drugs or gambling, might be classified as co-dependent. A rawer definition suggests that a person has to be physically or psychologically addicted and the other individual must be psychologically dependent on the behavior. Some people use the term dysfunctional family instead of co-dependent to classify this disease.

People are not considered co-dependent for showing caring feelings or behaviors. This term is only used when describing people who are excessive to a degree that proves unhealthy. Healthy empathy and caregiving is driven by conscious choice. Co-dependents are often compulsive in their actions and do not take the time to consider the consequences of such actions or their own needs that are being sacrificed.

Some professionals, including scholars and treatment providers, suggest that this behavior is an act of over-responsibility. This is what takes place when positive actions go awry. It is important that in relationships there is a balance between responsibility to self and responsibility to others.

This is recognized as a disease in which people have lost sight of themselves. In many of these cases, people give less priority to their own needs and are instead preoccupied with those of others. These relationships typically involve issues around intimacy, high reactivity, denial, dependency, boundaries, dysfunctional communication and control. Often there is some imbalance between the two parties involved, with one person being abusive or completely in control, or enabling or supporting the bad behavior of the other person.

Some of the most common symptoms of co-dependents include unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, external referencing, low self-worth, denial and dishonesty, and overwhelming desire to be accepted. These people might also be unable to tolerate being left alone, have chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom, seek affection, and subordinate their own needs to those of the person they are involved with. This type of behavior can take place in any kind of relationship, including community or peer, friendship, romantic, work or family. People who recognize these dysfunctional relationships are encouraged to seek professional help.




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