We each have these critical moments that we reach in our lives. Sometimes, for some, it happens earlier than later. For others...it takes years upon many years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a point where we all truly know, inside the midst of our hearts, that things must change. This desire for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There's a different form of energy to it. Honestly, there's a different feeling to it altogether.
You must do the scariest thing there is - face your most vicious nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I changed everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. At the end, I'll never forget that sense of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was the entire stacking up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that small match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, seven days later, it reached its lowest point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it was not granted, and I woke up late the following day staring at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could take the time to reconstruct my entire world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the wonderful things in you from ever reaching anybody. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing type of agony that may shock you to death. It scares you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great and hearty faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that scary place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this sort of belief in yourself that is beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be destroyed, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your scariest nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is obstructing you. You really are going to have to dive deep ...down into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armor. No weapon. No effort to rise above all of it.
You must go in defenseless and fully exposed.
You can come out. You will cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest journey you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life really begins.
You must do the scariest thing there is - face your most vicious nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I changed everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything and anything I could. At the end, I'll never forget that sense of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was the entire stacking up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that small match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, seven days later, it reached its lowest point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it was not granted, and I woke up late the following day staring at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could take the time to reconstruct my entire world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the wonderful things in you from ever reaching anybody. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing type of agony that may shock you to death. It scares you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great and hearty faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that scary place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this sort of belief in yourself that is beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be destroyed, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your scariest nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is obstructing you. You really are going to have to dive deep ...down into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armor. No weapon. No effort to rise above all of it.
You must go in defenseless and fully exposed.
You can come out. You will cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest journey you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life really begins.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
No comments:
Post a Comment