How To Be Happy When Things Are Going Wrong

When things are going wrong, there is an intense focus on the bad things in your life. This intense focus on bad things also brings up more fear that you will experience more bad things, hence making your life seem even worse.

It isn't that we are to deny that we have fears or try to fight our negative thoughts; it is that we are to come home to our center. When I say "come home to our center" it is to simply let go and forgive all those negative thoughts and images flying around in your head.

Coming home to your center is bringing your energy and your focus to the inner you, to connect with that part of you that is God, that is all loving, that is joyful.

We have looked away from this area of ourselves for so long that we have forgotten ourselves and our own connection to God. Listening to your intuition (God speaking within you) is near impossible to hear when you are so focused on the bad things happening in your life.

You have a choice to focus on peace and balance in the midst of the bad things that are happening to you. Do not resist your bad feelings, most likely anyone experiencing what you are experiencing would certainly feel the same way. But, if you ever want to experience happiness when everything is going wrong, then you must focus and CHOOSE to look at the value of your spirit and your inner self. That value has nothing to do with what the ego says is wrong in your life.

Let the ego (that negative, limiting voice in your head) spout off all the bad things that might happen to you, let it scream like a whining child in the background, send it love, and choose not to take it so seriously. What is says is not THE ONLY TRUTH.

Choose something more positive and loving. Practice makes perfect, you may not feel like you are getting it right the first time you try. Keep trying and have faith. What have you got to lose?

If you are having problems getting your emotions to follow along with your decision to be happy and positive, then there are ways to change that permanently. Through a little research, you can rediscover your power of choice and create the joy filled life you desire.

There are techniques that can change the way you feel and create the life of your dreams in a short period of time.

Don't give up hope and let life get you down! If it's your motivation for life you have lost, then learn different ways of getting motivated by clicking the link.

How To Be Happy: Growth and Goals

Positive psychologist Professor Martin Seligmann identified attainment as an area of vital importance when it comes to fulfilling our potential to be happy. Through his studies he discovered that when we foster new skills and focus on working towards meaningful goals, we are directly investing in our psychological resilience and wellbeing.
So it's official: having goals is good for our mental health, and this has been backed up by many subsequent studies. For example a research study of 30,000 people at Melbourne University revealed that the happiest people in the participant sample were those that were actively pursuing their own goals. The goals spanned a wide area: they concerned studies, careers, recreation, relationships, hobbies, health and leisure. The goals included short term, medium term and long term ones. The one thing that the goals did have in common is that they were instrinsic goals. An instrinsic goal is one that holds personal meaning for the person pursuing it. That is to say it is not a goal that has been imposed on them by the expectations of others.
Another study found that people who focus on and actively enjoy the process of working towards their goals gain a greater boost to their psychological wellbeing than those who are concentrating just on getting across the 'finishing line', and not allowing themselves to enjoy the process at all, merely viewing it as a means to an end.
But why are goals so good for us? There are many reasons, here are just three key ones: For one, goals help us master the use of time, when we are pursuing a goal we feel strongly about we develop schedules and become more efficient at using the time that's available to us, rather than wasting time procrastinating or watching too much TV. In this way they bring structure and meaning to our lives. A second reason is goals lead to positive emotion: every step we complete that brings us closer to our goal gives us an emotional boost and a sense of accomplishment. Linked to this, goals increase our confidence in ourselves. As we actively determine what we are doing with our time and energy, we get a sense of our own power. Thirdly, goals can help us through difficult times. When situations beyond our control challenge our emotional wellbeing, our goals gives us a life line - something to hold on to and pull ourselves forward through the difficult period.
If you think you could benefit from a few more active goals in your life, here is a good way five step method you can use. 1. Brainstorm as many instrinsic goals as you can come up with and then pick out the few you are most drawn to. 2. Breakdown the goals in to smaller subgoals, the stepping stones of the journey to get there. 3. Break the sub goals down further into micro goals if needs be. The point it to get the goal into small enough chunks that they are not daunting but enjoyable. 4. Take the very first few sub goals and make a schedule for when you will have achieved them by. Writing the deadlines in your calendar, diary or phone is an important part of this step. Also, remember it is better to start slow and give yourself more time than you need than to feel rushed and fail to meet your deadlines. 5. Pick your mile stones and decide how you will celebrate them. Ask yourself what are the key subgoals that will mark out that you're well on the way to achieving the end goal. Write the reward you'll give yourself (e.g. music, some clothes, a weekend away) at each milestone and don't forget to give it!
Begin your own experiment today to see if the powerful effect of goals on wellbeing holds up as much in your life as it does in the research papers. What would you love to have or become or achieve? Ask yourself this honest question and then sit back and enjoy the journey.

How To Be Happy: The Meaning of Life

In western consumer society, pleasure is elevated as the most vital ingredient to happiness. Pleasure produces positive emotion and undoubtedly positive emotion does have a critical role to play when it comes to our wellbeing.

The positive emotions we experience by engaging in pleasurable, leisure activities such as eating, drinking, shopping or watching films is short lived though. A life that is full of passive leisure and little else would ultimately not be a satisfying one or indeed a happy one, in the broader sense of the word. Why? Because although pleasurable activity can bring positive emotion it does not offer meaning.

To be as happy as we can, we need to seek the meaning in our lives. We do this by living what Aristotle called 'the good life'. Unlike the pleasant life of just leisure, the good life involves knowing what your character strengths are adapting your life so you use them more, and to use them in service of something larger than you are.

When we are working to our strengths we also get to experience flow, which is a state of mindfulness during which we are fully absorbed in the present to the point where 'time stands still'. Some describe being in flow as being at one with what you are doing.

As multiple research studies has shown that living 'a good life' increases life satisfaction and living a 'pleasant life' does not, it is worth learning about our strengths and how they can help us to generate and experience more meaning.

Meaning varies from person to person: what is meaningful to you might mean nothing much to me. But wherever your personal meaning in life might lie, it almost always involves being attached to something bigger than you are. We never find much meaning within our selves alone. It's important to remember too that people usually draw meaning form a number of sources, including religion, hobbies, campaigns, projects, career, family and friends.

A good first step to take if we are seeking to enrich the meaning in our lives is to complete the free VIA strengths survey that you can access on the authentic happiness.org website (which is a great positive psychology resource). This will give you a definite idea of what your signature strengths are, and this will allow you to think of ways that you could use them more.

To conclude: the meaning of life lies in learning about who you uniquely are and then connecting yourself to some bigger pictures, and contribute to them using your natural strengths.

How to Be Happy Without a Friend

It is possible to agree that everyone needs at least one friend in their lives. Friends are people who support you, lend great opportunities, and spend good and bad times along with you until the very end. However, it is also possible where there is a gap in life which makes you lack friends. Due to departures, friends can get separated from you for their own reasons.

These days, though, the use of technology has improved and solved this main problem we have in the society. The communication between friends seems to become simpler with the use of social network sites and programs which allow users to chat or call to one another with just an internet connection. For some people, the matter that friends come and go is considered normal. However, the temporary lack of friends, or in some cases, the farewell between friends can become a big impact in life.
Dealing with Emotions

The mind serves as the main control of the entire human body. The brain controls human behaviors and emotions according to the influences from the environment. Therefore, if you are capable of controlling your emotions, you can as well control your perspectives.

Sadness, fear, and disappointment will result in negative thoughts and overflowing emotions in people who are not being able to control their feelings and emotions. When a friend has to leave for a college located far away from your neighborhood, don't let your sadness and the fear of loss stop them. Deal with your own personal emotions and let go for their own good. Slowly consider the reasons of their departure before letting your emotions guide how you feel and act. If a friend moves away for their own good, learn to be happy with them as you can always communicate with each other with the use of technology.

Enjoy Yourself

Being alone isn't a bad matter really. The ability to enjoy your own company makes you an independent person. Working alone, reading alone, and eating lunch alone can further make you into a responsible person as you are required to clean your own mess, do your own job, and finish your own deeds.

The efficiency of concentration upon a subject will also be improved when being alone. Just as a person sings solo live, you can as well do things as a solo. By doing things all by yourself and being capable of performing solo activities, higher opportunities may be granted.

Look at Yourself More

When your friends are no longer around, you have more time to groom and look clearly at yourself. Without friends, there are a few to none beings that are brave and trustworthy enough to tell you when your hair is flipped over or even when milk messes up your lips.

Their leave may have tapped your back a little, giving you a sign that improvement on self appearance and awareness is needed. Leaving to the bus station with your untied shoelaces may cause you to trip yourself over and that's a big embarrassment.

With more time alone, look at the mirror before you take your leave and check if everything is alright. Be more independent and confident when you know friends are gone. Learn to cope with your own problems and adapt to specific situations on your own. Once you are capable of doing so, you will be confident and happy all by yourself and even towards others who are around.

How to Be Happy - 7 Secrets For a Happy Life

We all want to be happy, but something always gets in the way. There is never enough time... or money. Somebody is always failing to do what they are "supposed" to do... or not do. Our boss, our spouse, our kids, our parents, our friends, government, big business, whoever... "They" aren't doing it right. "They" failed us. We are angry, and we have a right to be angry. But is that righteous anger making us happy?

Happiness is not something anyone else can give us... or take away from us. Happiness is what we make of our lives... or don't. Whatever our circumstances, we can create a joyful life... or a miserable life. It is up to us.

7 Secrets for a Happy Life

1. Self-Respect: If I don't love and respect myself, who will? It all starts right here with ME. If I think that I'm a pretty good person, it doesn't much matter what anyone else thinks. And the irony is that once I like myself, most everyone else will like me too. People enjoy being around people who speak well of themselves - not in an arrogant boastful way, but with honest self-appreciation.

2. Forgive Everyone for Everything: Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a place to put down roots. Until we forgive everyone for everything, we hold on to anger and resentment.

Once we forgive, we can become happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness.

3. Be Grateful for All of Life: Each of us has been infinitely blessed - beginning with the gift of life. Whatever may appear to be missing or broken on any particular day, our glass is not half full, it is 99.9% full. More practically, when we feel ungrateful, we become unhappy.

When we choose to feel and express our gratitude, the act of feeling and speaking our thanks creates a happiness within us. The more we express our gratitude, the more we have for which to be grateful. Today and every day, take time to celebrate life - whether an hour's meditation in a quiet natural space, or a brief moment's conscious pause to breathe deeply and celebrate gratitude for life.

4. Choose Happiness: Everything in life is a choice. There is never anything we ever "need" to do. Every action and thought is a choice and has consequences - pleasant or unpleasant.

Whether you go to work today, change jobs, smile at the bank teller, order fried fish, yell at your kids, complain about life, hold a daily celebration of gratitude for life - they are all choices. Happiness is a choice. Stay alert and make conscious choices for happiness.

5. Begin at the End: You can never reach your destination if you don't have a destination. Decide what accomplishments you want recorded on your tombstone. Take a whole quiet day to consider your life. Be very clear that your happiness does NOT depend on reaching your goal.

In fact, it's the reverse. Your happiness depends on accepting whatever life throws at you while you walk the path toward your goal. What is important for your happiness is having a goal, and working toward it.

6. Start Today: Whatever you want in life, start today. Not tomorrow - today. Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning. Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.

7. Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair": Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.

Our only path to happiness lies in being open to receiving whatever life throws at us - with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life. Jonathan's intention is to share his insights for Joyful Living with the widest possible audience.

How To Be Really Happy Forever

Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness depends on many factors.

Many people believe that money brings happiness, because if they can pay and fulfil all their desires they imagine that they will be happy forever. However, money is only a facility. It cannot buy health, love and peace.

If you are sick, alone, in a war, dominated by craziness and despair, money cannot save you. It can help you find famed doctors, or paid lovers, or a false peace based on the threat of weapons, but everything you can get by paying is only an illusion. You need much more in order to feel really satisfied.

If you want to be really happy forever you have to change the world, bringing peace, abundance and happiness to Earth, besides helping humanity cultivate love, patience, goodness and humility in its heart.
You have to put an end to craziness, terrorism and despair.

If you cannot transform everything, you will never be completely happy.

So, you have either to accept to live in a crazy world full of violence and absurdity, trying to be happy on your "personal island", where only your family and your friends have importance for you, or you have to transform this crazy world into a place where everyone will have the chance to be happy, otherwise you will never be really happy too.

This is a selfish thought, but I know that you are very selfish from birth - this is why I'm explaining the truth to you in terms you can understand. You would never care for the world's pain if it didn't affect you.
I notice that each time I write an article about general happiness and the necessity to change the world so that everyone will at least have the basic conditions of life besides many things more, only a few people read my articles.

However, when I give lessons about their personal lives and how they can overcome their problems, those articles are the most often viewed.

Yes, nobody cares for the entire world. Nobody really cares for humanity.

Everyone only wants to live well, without working and only having fun. This is the ideal scenario, even though they know that things cannot be this way and they get adapted to the reality of their lives. However, their philosophy of life is the above mentioned, without a doubt.

You probably are not an exception...

Are you?

I really hope that you are, because some people are exceptions, even though they are quite rare. You will find one sensitive person that cares for the well being of the entire world, among billions and billions of alienated creatures that care only about their personal lives...

However, the truth is that the desire to be happy in such world the way it is now, with so many horrors, is in fact a crazy desire.

Don't you agree that only crazy creatures would try to be happy in a place where violence, terrorism, immorality, hypocrisy, poverty and other horrors exist?

I'm sure you do, if you are sensible. But you don't know how to change the crazy world, and you have no power...

At this point you need a miracle. And only because the miracle does exist, have I started explaining the truth in this way, otherwise I would not start showing you how absurd it is to want to be happy in a place where craziness prevails, because I would have to abandon you totally disappointed at the end of this article, while my intention is to help you solve your problems.

The miracle is inside you and sends you dreams with warnings, lessons and free psychotherapy everyday. It is the wise and saintly unconscious mind, that tries to save the human side of your conscience from the wild, primitive side that is responsible for the existence of craziness in the human mind.

If you follow the guidance you receive in your dreams, the unconscious mind will show you how you can transform your psyche, develop your personality and become a self-confident genius, so that you may be able to solve all the problems of the world, not only thanks to your intelligence, but thanks to your sensitivity and the superiority of your spirit.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.

Why It Is Important To Be Happy

 

The simple answer to this question is because it is not worth to remain moody or sad. An answer based on biological observations would be happiness trigger the production of vital hormones in the body that is crucial for overall health and metabolism. Another worthy reply to this query is happiness brings in a positive and stable mental frame of mind. But, whichever concept you endorse upon, one aspect is quite clear, being happy is many times more worthy than letting the negative emotions build in yourself.

Realistically enough, we all live in a world amidst so much of unlucky people, poverty, violence, stress, competition, and all sorts of sadness inducing environment you can think of. So it is only natural that a part of our mind always tends to carry a tinge of sadness or lean towards this negative emotion often because the natural momentum is acting in that direction.

But, being sad could leave more than a profound impact on the human body as far as its overall health is concerned. As per the latest medical researches, most cases of depression, stress, apnea, migraine, and many other diseases have its roots in the sad frame of mind.

Even the specialists treat these conditions say, one of the best medicines for these diseases are happiness, laughter and relaxation. Need any more proof to believe that it is important to be happy?

From you, the common man out there, the only possible way out of this mess is to make a mental effort by yourself - to muster the drive and power - in order to trudge your way back to happiness.

Learn to focus on better and positive things when sadness sets in, and try to convince oneself that you are still lucky and well placed than many others living in this world. Make it a habit to smile even in adversities, and avoid being alone. That is, always try to be in the company of others or engage yourself in activities that interest you to the core. Never ever let the mind wander idle.

Finally, if you are convinced that you are not able to shrug of the element of sadness fully, consider consulting a psychologist. If there is any case of a budding depression, then earlier medical intervention could set things straight. In short, try every possible step to fight off sadness, mentally or medically, whichever is required. Because, it is really important to be happy! The stakes are that high.

John Khu is an experience entrepreneur and internet marketer. He specializes in communication development and personal happiness.

Your Rules Influence How Happy and Successful You Will Become

At one time, I went on a holiday to a beautiful island. The accommodation we stayed in was good although not as luxurious as the resort nearby. The island however was beautiful, just to sit on the beach and watch the sunrise or sunset was magical.

My friend Julie who accompanied me wasn't happy doing this. Instead of enjoying her surroundings and the beauty of nature, she would watch the rich people staying at the nearby resort and envy how they lived.

Julie constantly compared herself to others who were more prosperous and she found herself and her lifestyle lacking. Julie had constant money problems and wondered why no matter how hard she worked, she never seemed to get what she really wanted.

Our perception of success or happiness is dictated by our rules, and Julie's rules implied that in order for her to be successful and happy, she had to live comfortably. These rules not only prevented her from becoming happy, they also limited her opportunities. The more rigid your rules, the harder it will be for you to achieve and be happy with your goals.

A lot of people live by the 'I'll be happy when... ' rule. They believe they will be happy when they find the right person to share their life with, when they find the right job, when they buy a home of their own, have children, or have more money. When you live by the 'I'll be happy when... ' rule you spend your life striving. It won't matter how much you achieve because it will never be enough.

Sometimes though, rules can serve us and one of mine is that I never make a decision based on fear. Many years ago when I was looking for direction in my own life, I consulted an astrologer and we became quite friendly. Later, when I bought my home I invited her to my house-warming party. She rang to say she couldn't attend and took the opportunity to berate me for buying a house.

She said, 'Anne, how could you buy a house? You know as well as anyone the financial disasters that are going to happen. How could you take on a mortgage at this time?' The disasters that she referred to were predictions of the collapse of our entire financial system, as well as a tidal wave hitting Sydney close to where I live. It hadn't even occurred to me to listen to these dire predictions. I simply followed my intuition, and many years later my home doubled in value while this woman was still renting.

There is nothing good or bad about rules; some rules will make you happy, others will make you unhappy. If you have rules, you need to be aware of them and you discover what your rules are by listening to your words. Any time you say, 'Should', 'Must', or 'Have to', you have discovered one of your rules.

Generally speaking, the more rules you have, the harder you make life for yourself and for those around you. The less 'should' in your life means less stress. That does not mean you have to give up all of your standards, just choose to make conscious choices each time rather than having a lot of blanket rules.

What Does it Mean to Be Happy?

What is happiness?  What will it take to make you happy?  People all over the world look for what it takes to make them happy in their lives, but it seems like a great many people never quite "find it."
Its my opinion that this is part of the problem.  Happiness isn't something that's found.  Happiness isn't something that finds you either.  If it is something that can be found then where it can be found might surprise you.

It's in your mind.  that's right, it can be found within the depths of your own mind.  It's a choice that you make everyday.  When you look around at your life, you make a decision about it.  You decide to be happy with it or you don't.

You can choose to look around at all the small annoyances that you that you face and decide that you because of those, you're not going to be happy.  A little secret about those little annoyances is that they're always going to be there.  No matter what you do for a living , or where you live, or how much money you have, if you choose to focus your energy on these things, you'll likely never find lasting happiness.

However on the flip side if you come to the understanding that there are always going to be those little annoyances, you'll have taken a huge first step toward becoming a happy person. 

The good thing about this is that you'll find that once you start focusing on the things in your life that make you happy, those small annoyances will become much less influential on your mind and therefore your happiness.  You'll find yourself paying more attention to the things that make you happy as opposed to the things that don't, and that will make a big difference in your life.

Justin Bott is a successful entrepreneur operating an internet marketing business. He is well versed in this field and has a keen desire to become more successful and to help others become successful as well.

As someone who's searched his entire life for success, he's studied many different programs and philosophies and brought them together to create a sustainable home-based business. Go to, to find out how he got started.

Will I Ever Be Happy Again After My Husband Walked Out?

I often hear from wives who are extremely depressed after their husband has left. Many just can not envision ever feeling happy or secure again. Common comments are something like: "last week, my husband packed his bags and walked out on me. So far, he is avoiding my calls. He ignores my texts. So I'm not able to talk to him and see what he is thinking or feeling.

The harsh reality that he might not come back is starting to creep in and this is almost more than I can bear. I just can not ever see myself being happy without him. There is no other man for me. My mom and my friends have been trying to cheer me up and get me out of the house, but I have no interest in these things.

I just don't see myself being happy unless he is my life. My mom says that one day I will move on and I will be OK. I can't ever envision this. How am I supposed to ever be happy again after he's walked out on me?" I'll try to address these concerns below.

Don't Assume The Worst Case Scenario: This wife was assuming that because her husband had been silent for a week, she had lost him forever. This was jumping to the worst case scenario. And frankly, this can be a mistake. There are occasions when men cool off once they have some time to reflect and eventually come home to their wives ready to work things out.

Sometimes, this process takes a while, but it is not uncommon. Men do sometimes come back after they walk out. I had no way of knowing if that was going to happen in this case. But I am mentioning this to let you know that you don't always have to assume that his walking out means that you are never going to get him back. Sometimes, with a workable plan, a little luck, and some patience, you can get him back.

Understand That You Are More Than Your Relationships: I find that many wives in this situation feel completely lost at the thought of not being part of a married couple. Their identity and their own happiness is tied up in their marriage and in their husband.

So when they fear that these things are going to be gone, then they equate this will the loss of their identity and their happiness. When you do this, you truly are selling yourself short. Your happiness is not dependent on your relationships. You are valuable and worthy all on your own.

Here's something else to consider. Sometimes, when we become so afraid of losing something, we become desperate and this makes us appear needy and unattractive. I mention this because it's important to understand that although it's completely natural to worried and fearful right now, sometimes if you completely give into those emotions, you will make it so that your husband is reluctant to spend time with you or interact with you because your negative emotions bring about the negativity that he's been trying to avoid all along.

The Vast Majority Of Wives In Similar Situations Will Tell You It Does Get Better: As you may have suspected, I've been through this myself. I did eventually get my husband back. But you know what? My situation did not improve until I made up my mind that I was going to dust myself off and do my best to begin to bring some happiness back into my life.

This was certainly a struggle, but I knew how easy it would be for me to sink down into a depression that would do me no good and would make my husband less likely to come around. Also, I sometimes hear back from women who have reached out to me on my blog early in the process. Some do get their husbands back, but some do not for various reasons. Even those who don't get their husbands back do eventually check in later and most are doing just fine. With time and perspective, many can look back and see that this whole thing was part of a process. This is true whether they saved their marriage or not.

The days following your husband walking out are filled with confusion, pain, and fear. In short, it is the worst of times and it can be difficult to imagine yourself happy again. But I promise you that happiness is possible, no matter what happens with your marriage.

To me, it makes sense to begin to do the things that bring you happiness, even though you don't know what tomorrow brings for your marriage. This will make day to day life easier for you and it often actually helps your marriage.

Fill your days with the people and things that lighten your load. Know that it could always be worse. Know that reaching out to others and offering help to someone else will often make you feel better right away. In short, doing those things that help you move forward are almost always the right way to go. There is no down side. Right now, it's up to your to look out for your own best interest. You deserve to be happy, no matter what your circumstances. And frankly, circumstances can change. But your happiness should not be dependent upon them.

As I said, I was filled with unhappiness in the days after my husband left. But, after a while, this just got very old. I was tired of feeling so awful all of the time. So, I turned to family and friends and I started doing things that I knew would make me feel a little better. Frankly, once I started having a brighter outlook, my husband became interested in me again.

A Life Worth Living - Expect Less Be Happy

 

I have heard and read numerous quotes throughout my life (till date) on what life is and how to live your life? How to make it happy and how to make sure you spend every moment of it? And blah, blah, blah; enough has been told. But what has influenced me most is the following line-
"EXPECT LESS and BE HAPPY"

I do not who said it nor did I make any effort to search it over internet. But these five words have influenced me so much that I cannot help but just admire the one who said it. And how true it is.

God gave us life as a human, not everybody is as lucky as we are. We all could have born as a dog, cat and any other living being you can think of other than human. But we are wasting it. Yes, we are ruining this gift of God big time. And he won't be happy about this.

We always expect- from family, friends, loved ones, God and our self. I do not say it is wrong to expect something from your near ones; after all, they are the one with who you expect to be up to your level of demands. But what's wrong is that stressing your self when those expectations are not fulfilled.

Ask a question- why are you stressing your self when others do not live up to your expectations? They never say they would do this and do that, it was all you assumed.

You assumed that they will do it. You assumed that they will do anything to make you happy. You assumed that you are special for them. You are assumed that they care for you.

Your assumptions are not too wrong but it is not their fault if they don't do what you expected. They never promised you. Expecting too much is always difficult. You are being unfair.

I believe in expecting less. In that way, I keep myself always cheerful. Low expectations from everybody, even from those who are very close to you and about whom you are sure they won't disappoint you, is a good rule to remain happy. Consider below-

You expect 9/10 for a performance, your manager thought you deserve 5 but still he gives 8. I bet you won't be happy about that because higher expectations often bring sadness than cheerfulness. In the same scenario, you deserved 5 and you know that but still you say to yourself- let me keep on lower side so I expect he will give me 4.

But manager still gives you 7. In first case, you got 8 but were not happy and in second case, you got 7 but still more than happy. It is important to be practical and realistic. Thinking without limits is very injurious to mind and heart.

That was it. I urge every one of you reading this to go deeper in the meaning of the line and start practicing it religiously. My experiences have been pleasant with it and since I have started expecting less, I am more than happy. Do not waste this God's gift, this life in sulking and complaining. It is given to you to spend in the most beautiful way and spend it that way.

I'll Be Happy When "This" Happens

"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you will never find it." -C.P. Snow, English novelist

How many times have you heard or used the expression: "I'll be happy when... "? We've all said it. I'll be happy when I have more money, when I find the perfect partner, when I change jobs, when I get a promotion, when I get a new car, when I have a new home, when I lose weight, when my child graduates, when I retire, when I live in a different location, when I can take a vacation. The list could go on and on.

And have you ever noticed how someone else's behavior can impact your happiness? I was reminded of this recently while standing at the check-out counter in the grocery store. The woman in line behind me was on her cell phone talking to a friend.

I heard her say how upset she was with all the traveling her husband had to do for his job. She remarked that he was never home and that when he was, he was too exhausted to make any plans with her. After a few more complaints, she ended by saying: "I'll be happy when he quits his job!"

I mention this because we tend to think happiness is dependent on outside circumstances, situations, events and people. We believe that bliss comes as a result of certain things happening. But we have it backwards. Happiness comes from the inside AND THEN manifests on the outside in the form of results.

We also think that other people are responsible for our happiness (or unhappiness); that what someone else does or doesn't do has a direct impact on our joy. But the truth is - happiness is a choice we make in every moment no matter what is occurring around us. It's not a destination that we reach at some point because something happens or someone does something. Happiness is a feeling that is entirely up to us and is directly related to our thoughts.

Let me share another story with you:
One of my favorite inspirational authors (Joe Vitale) posted a personal story on one of his websites. Two weeks ago his main computer crashed, his laptop stopped working, all of his websites went off line for no apparent reason, and he ended up in the hospital with emergency surgery to have his appendix removed.

Now that certainly seems like enough to make someone unhappy! And the fact is, most people would have complained about these setbacks and been really miserable. But here's what Joe said about his situation: "I didn't see the experience -- any of it -- as negative.

I was never angry, upset, fearful or any other negative emotion. I was at best curious. I'd also say it was an enforced vacation." Instead of being unhappy with all the turmoil in his life, Joe CHOSE to be curious about why he had attracted this experience and he CHOSE to be happy about having some much needed downtime.

The next time you start to say, "I'll be happy when... or I'm unhappy because... " think about this quote from Abraham Lincoln: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Don't wait for something or someone to change in the future. Make up your mind to be happy NOW and watch what unfolds!

How to Be Happy in a Bad Marriage

The idea of getting married is to fulfill that childhood fantasy that grows with us all the way into adulthood. 'And they lived happily ever after'. That was the idea when you got married I'm sure but now it's all gone. You are looking for ways on how to be happy in a bad marriage.

What you need to know is you are now looking for a solution and not the cause. So it would be wise not to point fingers. You could identify the cause but not apportion the blame. Marriage is really not a happily ever after story. Marriages involve meeting hurdles and challenges and being able get past them and move on.

If you want to know how to be a happy in a bad marriage, the first thing you both need to do is agree on one thing. That there is a problem; it needs to be solved and you are both willing to solve it. If you try to solve a marriage crisis without the involvement of your spouse you will always come out drawing the short end of the stick.

Think about the happiness that you once shared. You are still the same couple, what could have possibly gone so wrong that you cannot put that warmth back into your relationship. Remember a plant starts growing as soon as it feels a little warmth. It's the little things that matter.

Maybe you feel your spouse is now at a point where you cannot even communicate. When you try to address the problem do they become cold and evasive? Your marriage can go back to what it was or even get better. With a little help and encouragement on how you can be happy in a bad marriage; you will be amazed at the things you can turn around.

10 Things Indoor Cats Need To Be Happy

 Keeping your cat indoors is safer for a number of reasons: it minimizes its exposure to toxins as well as infections from other cats.

Preventing your pet from venturing outdoors will also protect it from getting run over or being killed by dogs or other cats. Studies show that cats kept indoors live at least twice as long as cats that are allowed outdoor access.

Keeping your cat stimulated and happy is a concern many owners have and here are 10 things you can do to ensure your indoor cat is happy and content:

1. Litter Box: Your cat's litter box should be cleaned on a daily basis with the litter changed every month. The litter box should be kept in a low traffic area so your feline feels safe when using it.

2. Good Food: Cats are carnivorous animals and should be fed high protein diets. Cheap supermarket cat food brands don't provide quality nutrients needed to maintain the health of your cat so always try to choose the best quality food you can.

3. Grass: Cats love eating grass and you should provide your kitty with the opportunity to eat grass every now and then. Special grass growing kits are available at most pet shops or you can easily grow some in a small pot.

4. Toys: Cats love to play so buy your cat some interactive toys to physically and mentally stimulate it. They are fascinated by catnip so you should try to find toys that are stuffed with this herb to attract your cats' attention.

5. Try to set aside some time every day to play with your cat, as they love a good game of chase and there are many toys available that will allow you to play with your kitty such as feline flyers and laser lights.

6. Scratching Posts: Provide your cat with a scratching post if you value your furniture. Cats love using scratching posts to keep their claws sharp as well as to mark territory.

7. Safe Area: Cats like to hide in places they feel secure so place a cat carrier or cat bed in a low traffic area of the house that your cat can go to if it wants some quiet time.

8. Visual Stimulation: Your kitty should have the opportunity to look out a window to see the outside world. A bird feeder placed within view of the window will provide your cat with endless hours of entertainment.

9. Perches: Cats love climbing and there are special perches available at pet stores that can help satisfy this instinct in your feline. Cats love observing their environment from high places and your cat will truly appreciate a perch.

10. TLC: Cats enjoy attention so be sure to indulge your kitty with a lot of tender love and care!

How to Be Happy? According to Aristotle

According to the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, we may achieve happiness by moderation. Happiness is not something you have to reach to, it is not a goal in itself, and it is not the end or destination of our daily activity. Actually, it is the activity itself. Our activity should be a happy activity. Happiness is not a fixed static condition; it is a dynamic ongoing accompaniment of our activity. It is how we do things; it is not what things bring to us.

We feel happy when we eat good tasty food in good company. We do not eat without any feeling of happiness and then at the end we feel happy. When we recall some good happy memories of good past times and we feel happy, this in itself is an activity accompanied by happiness. We have to engage in activities in our daily life to feel happy. We cannot sit down and wait for happiness to come to us.

However, people differ in what makes them happy. Someone may feel happy among crowds of people and hectic activity. Another may feel happier when he is alone or in a quiet peaceful environment. There is no fixed formula or a prescription to tell people how to get happiness. We can only achieve happiness by trial and error. If a certain situations or activities make us happy, that is how to achieve happiness. However, what makes you happy may seem unpleasant to me.

Does this mean that there are no rules and people can decide for themselves what sort of activity to make for being happy? Is this unrelated to the impact of such activity on other people and on the individual's own future happiness?

Aristotle has introduced the principle of the golden mean. By this, he implies a certain degree between two extremes. It does not mean the middle or average value. Someone may find that he feels happy to eat as much as he wants, may end up suffering unhappiness in the future. Moderation is the way to strike a balance between current happiness and future outcomes.

The moderate pleasures are those, which would make you happy now and will not make you suffer in the future or make other people suffer because of your behaviour. That moderate degree is different among different people. Some people may need to eat more than others and many do not feel happy when they sense they are bloated and obese. What is good for one person may not be good for another. We cannot prescribe how much activity a person should do to make him happy. We have to take in consideration individual variations and choices.

The moral philosophy of Aristotle considers what is ethical and moral and what is unethical and evil. It looks at how much pleasure and happiness a particular behaviour would bring to the majority of people and to the persons involved. Sometimes we cannot decide by rational thinking alone if certain behaviour would lead to happiness or unpleasantness. Trial and error may lead us to know which behaviour to choose. We do need to learn from others' experiences.

A certain amount of experimentation would help us know how to be sure of our choices. A well documented and evidenced scientific knowledge may also provide us with warning signs about the future consequences of a certain current happy behaviour.

Some of our behaviours which makes us happy may make others would suffer. This is not ethical in any logical argument. A certain degree of self-control and restraint on unethical behaviour is needed. The government or the state enforce law and order to prevent unchecked hedonism from inflicting pain and suffering on others.

Moral education is needed for the young to develop a sense of moral judgement and to develop self-control. Some people by nature are morally weak or lack self-control. Self-discipline is a crucial element to achieve happiness for the individual and for the group.

How to Be Happy in Spite Of Your Circumstances

 

It is so easy, almost natural, to get caught up in self-pity and despair when things are going wrong in your life, but you can be happy in spite of your circumstances. The choice is yours to be more powerful than any circumstances in your life.

It can simply be a matter of perspective. You can choose to live each moment to its fullest. If you knew you didn't have a tomorrow, would today's problems really be as bad as they seem now? If this was your last day, wouldn't you want to spend it feeling happy and fulfilled?

You can always find the blessing in any situation if you look for it. Every situation in life, regardless of how tragic it may seem, is an opportunity to learn and grow. If you look for these opportunities you will become a better person because of your struggles.

Sometimes, you just have to let things go. If you are completely miserable at your job, it is time to find a new one. This applies to the people in your life as well. If you have a miserable person in your life, get rid of them. If it is a family member, at least limit the amount of time you spend with them. Life is just too short to be stuck hanging around with miserable people in a miserable environment.

Don't let others decide how you are going to be. If you get into a traffic accident and the other driver is yelling and cursing at you, you have a choice.

You can either stoop to his level by engaging in similar negative behavior, or you can be polite and maintain the positive attitude you had before the accident. Someone else's attitude does not have to become your own and ruin your entire day. You and only you have complete control over your emotions.

Life is full of precious moments; you get to choose how you are going to feel in every moment. You can concentrate on what is wrong, or your can be grateful for all of the blessings around you. You have clothes on your back, food on your table and air in your lungs, and there are many people in this world who don't. Make the choice to be happy and celebrate the absolute abundance that flows in your life.

How to Be Happy at Work - Some Small Things That Can Help You Stay Happy in the Workplace

The workplace is one place that you spent most of your time everyday and of course, it matters a lot if you are happy at work. If not, you'll end up tired and drained each day. If you want to spend each day happy and fulfilled, here are some tips on how to be happy at work.

1. Start with making yourself organized at work. Clutter brings in more stress and disorganization in your work and that can contribute to being unproductive, unfulfilled and less happy.

Start with your office space or your desk. Organize your schedules, have a planner, use post-its and reminders, organize your tools at work - whatever it is that is applicable to you, it pays to be clean and organize in your workspace.

2. Be with positive people in the workplace. It is sometimes unavoidable to see some negative people at work, people who get into your nerves, pessimistic workmates, whiners, and those who just love to meddle into the affairs of others.

If you choose to go with them, you will eventually become one of them, so try to be with positive ones. If you can't avoid the negative co-workers, at least, condition your mind on how to react positively and deal with them nicely. After all, being happy is your own choice. You can be happy if you choose to.

3. Throw in some fun in the workplace. You can add a little humor with your emails or add cartoon sketches with your fax that can make your colleagues smile... little things like this can help lighten up the mood in the workplace. Instead of talking behind other's backs, you can also try to lighten up lunch times by talking about some funny things and thoughts - but of course, don't laugh at your co-workers.

4. Manage your time and your work. If you think you have been working long hours routinely and there seemed to be no time for you to think about anything aside from work, then you might want to manage your time well.

One of the important tips on how to be happy at work is to be able to do your work effectively and on time. Mismanagement of your time will surely put you in stressful situations at work. If the reason is that, you have too much to do than what you can take, then learn to delegate or ask for extension of deadlines - but you have to prioritize your work above all.

5. Reward yourself. If you want to learn how to be happy at work, you have to also give yourself a break and find ways to reward yourself sometimes. Have a makeover, go shopping, enjoy a night out with friends and colleagues, or take a yoga class - enjoying activities like this as part of your week can help you break the monotony and help you get rid of stress at work.

Indeed, you can learn ways on how to be happy at work. Keep in mind that you may not be able to change the some situations at work, nor the attitude of your co-workers, but you can choose to be happy despite that, by simply choosing to be happy - and that means changing how you deal with all these.

Happy From the Inside Out

"The joy I have - the world didn't give it, the world can't take it away." - Shirley Caesar, gospel singer
Sally, age 35, has true clarity that happiness comes from the Inside Out and she makes it her highest priority to be happy regardless of circumstances. The more she practices looking inside for her happiness, the more happiness, freedom and empowerment she feels. As she continues to develop her capacity to be happy on the inside regardless of conditions on the outside, the more her external conditions bring her reasons to be happy. While Sally knows that happy circumstances cannot make her truly happy, she proves every day that being happy can and does create happy circumstances.

Sam, also 35, is externally focused. He seeks gratification from the environment and other people. This works well when he receives the external gratification he desires, but this is not a good long-term strategy. As he continues looking outside for his happiness, he is becoming less happy, less free and less empowered. His attempts to impress other people by driving the hottest car and wearing the trendiest clothes lead to mounting debt and increasing stress. As Sam becomes more dependent, needy, and uncertain, he tries to fill the emptiness inside with drugs, alcohol and sex.
These are extreme examples, to be sure. However, some form of these stories is actually the way it plays out for most people. When you realize that you can be happy whether you're rich or poor, married or single, healthy or ill, you realize it's not the stuff, it's not other people and it's not the circumstances that determine your level of happiness.

So, if "the stuff" won't make you happy, what to do? Feel Good First! It's happiness you really want anyway. And, when you're happy, all the stuff comes as a nice byproduct.
It was this quote that woke me up and enabled me to create a successful coaching business:
"The standard of success in life is not the things or the money. The standard of success is absolutely the amount of joy you feel." - Abraham-Hicks
I had been working with an Outside In perspective, mistakenly believing I would be happy when I had a full schedule of ideal clients and was making good money. With this guidance, I was able to quit waiting for external circumstances to make me feel the way I wanted to feel. When I made it a priority to feel good from the Inside Out, my circumstances shifted to match my vibrations. Then, and only then, was I able to attract the clients and the business I desired. It was simply not going to happen as long as I needed the circumstances to change before I could feel good.
"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius
The one and only thing that determines the way you feel is the thoughts you choose to think. It's your thoughts that make you feel good or bad - nothing else.

You can choose thoughts that make you feel happy and empowered or thoughts that make you feel sad and powerless. You have the choice in every moment. And, as you choose your thoughts, you choose your life. 

Happiness really IS an inside job. Where you gonna look?

To Be Happy, Create New Brain Pathways

A lady came to me with a hurt wrist. She was amazed at the instantaneous healing that took place. Called it a miracle that her wrist-which had hurt for months-no longer hurt. Three days later she called and said, "I thought you healed my wrist. Here it is only three days later and it hurts again. You didn't do a very good job. Now what do you have to say about that?"

I answered her by asking, "Why did you take the pain back?"

You want to be happy? Then why do you keep taking the unhappiness back? You are the one who is responsible for that, not the other one you keep blaming. Tough to hear, but to be happy you must stop taking back the unhappiness. So how do you do this?

Think of unhappiness as a groove worn into your brain from a constant flow of unhappy thoughts like a creek worn from water erosion. As humans we tend to like-and return too-the familiar, even if that which is familiar is painful. By now, you may have a Grand Canyon of unhappiness pattern that you will fall back into without even realizing it. The good news is that once you stop digging the unhappiness groove deeper and create a new pattern of happiness then happiness becomes the familiar groove and is easier to access and "fall" into.
To help create those happiness groves, become the high witness to your life and become aware of what you are creating for yourself in your life. This is a process that takes dedication that comes from your desire to be happy. No one can give you the desire to be happy except you. Happiness, like most things in life, comes to us as we seek it out. We have to do the work to find it.

Try this: On a sheet of notebook paper, begin to write down a reason you have to be happy. If you can't find a reason to be happy, start with a reason to be grateful. If you are so unhappy you can't find a reason to be grateful, your addiction to unhappiness is greater than you desire to be happy, and it may behoove you to seek help from a professional therapist. This process only works if you are able and ready to do the work.
Once you have completed the first reason you have to be happy, continue on to a second reason that you have to be happy. When any reason for unhappiness comes to mind-and they will-turn the paper over and write down that reason, and then immediately turn the paper over again and continue writing down reasons why you are-or should be-happy.

You will notice that as you begin this process you may not particularly feel happy about any of the reasons you have for happiness. They are reasons you have to be happy, but you may take them for granted and not feel happiness from them. As you continue to write, you will notice a lifting of your mood. Keep writing until you actually feel light, happy, and maybe even positively giddy. Repeat this process whenever you feel a need to do so or when you slip into unhappiness.

10 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Happy

Never forget that "the more you put out, the more you receive". Some times appearances can be deceiving. If you appear to be in a mess of some sort, whether from a relationship or finances, don't let yourself get too lost. Remember that there is always a way out, even if it's something as simple as smiling and being grateful.

You will only be able to get out of the mess if you truly believe that you can. Just remember the following 10 tips:

The world is happy when you are happy.

Smile at the world, and the world will smile back.

Be thankful that you are alive to experience this day, and you will be given more days to be thankful for.

The universe reflects back to you what you put out to the universe.

Be thankful for yesterday, and be happy today.

Be happy today, and prosper tomorrow.

You don't need money to be happy, only a smile.

Your dreams will come true, but first you must be true to yourself.

Share love and smiles with others, and the world will share with you in return.

Next time some thing bad happens, ask yourself "What did I do to contribute to this, and what can I do to make things better?" Apologize to the world for the part you played in messing things up, even if you don't feel it was your fault. Apologize to yourself as well, and then forgive yourself. Now all you can do is start all over again. There is no use having any bad feelings, for that will just dig you even deeper into the hole. Smile and be happy, and you will quickly find your way out.