How to Leverage Your Happiness and Grow

Happynomics is hot. And the king of a bitsy, sluggish Himalayan kingdom is the guy responsible.
In 1972, he gave traditional economics a kick in the teeth when he declared that "gross national happiness"--not gross national product--would be the new (and only!) measuring stick for his country's success. Fast forward four decades, and you've got yourself the second fastest-growing economy in the world: the nation of Bhutan. But not everyone is clapping.

Happy First

What is it that we are so afraid of? Why won't we let go?

A shark cannot rest, it cannot stop swimming or it will die, it will drown.

Humanity seems to be acting in the same manner. It is though we are running for our lives. We are being chased and if we stop we will die.

There is an urgency to get somewhere, anywhere, and we do not know what to look for or where, but it is always out there, somewhere.

Unknowingly we have left the place that we are looking for. From the inner peace that we experienced so long ago as children and as the person we once were. We seem to have lost our way and are running just for the sake of running. It is as though we are in a cattle stampede. One starts running and we are following blindly.

What happened to the peace, the serenity and joy of just being, what happened to our innocence? Somewhere along the way we believe that we have lost it, and that we cannot have it again. Someone told us to run and we haven't stopped.

The industrial revolution has pushed us forward in a frenzy to acquire things, the latest is always best, always desirable and it is the carrot that moves us beyond our means, away from what we really desire.

It has taken us away from our natural ability to be at peace, to be happy and content. 'Things,' have promised us happiness, but we do not feel happy when we have them. There is always a promise of happiness but never delivery. Things may be symbols of our happiness but they do not bring the promise with them, because there is another thing dancing in the shadows, calling to us, beckoning, luring us from one thing to another.

We are so far gone that we now believe that we cannot be happy unless we have a thing. We have forgotten how to be happy naturally without being stimulated. We have been told that we cannot go backwards; we cannot go back to the way it was before because we would not have our things.

This is one of the greatest lies that have been passed on from one generation to another. Happiness is where you find it we are told, and this is absolute true if we understand that we can find happiness anywhere if we are happy first. The thought of being happy brings happiness into our lives. Happiness comes from within and is not put upon us by things.

Unhappiness is created from the thought that we need something to be happy and this unhappiness comes from the very things that we are depending on to bring us happiness.

If illness, accidents, sorrow, suffering, lack and loneliness comes from an error in thought, then only the thought has to be changed in order to achieve the happiness, and once our basic needs are met, there is only room for happiness. When thoughts turn towards wants then they turn away from comforting human emotion, natural love, joy, pleasure, contentment and belonging. The simpler life is the closest we get to true happiness, because we become focused on it, it is what we think about and all thought becomes manifested in our experience.

"I can't go back, I won't, I worked too hard to get where I am and what I have; I won't live in a cave.
If all we really want is to be happy, why would we not live in a cave and live simply if it brings us back to happy. If we are heading in a direction that leads away from happiness, why do we keep going there? Is it that we are happy to be unhappy or that happiness does not really exist except in our thoughts? Is it that we believe that happiness does not last, so why pursue it? What is it that we do with the butterfly once we catch it? Is the happiness found in catching the butterfly or letting it go once we have been there, or is it both? Can we experience happiness without experiencing all its opposites? Is the joy of letting go a precept in experiencing happiness once we have found it? Must we turn away from happiness so that we may find it later? If we are happy and remain that way, will we forget what it means to be happy?

All of our experiences are this way, they are cyclical, and we cannot know what we have or experience it until we no longer have it. We must move away from it so that we can come back to it. So if living our complicated lives is not bringing the happiness that we choose, is it because we forgot what it is or are we now ready to return to it?

Is it that we are running from something or is it that we are now running towards it? The trip will stop when we know that we already have what we desire, we simply need to choose it. Happiness, joy, fulfillment, belonging are things that we do not have to look for. They are what we are naturally and we simply have moved our thoughts away from them.

Our things, our toys are symbols, but they are not symbols of happiness, they are symbols of trying to be happy. They are symbols that we have moved away from what we already have, what we know. In trying to make our lives easier so that we have "time," to be happy and enjoy our lives we have created less time to be happy. Happy is scheduled for events and things and then we are too tired. To numb our loss of the sense of happiness we drug ourselves so that we don't have to feel anything.

The truth is and always has been that we can be happy without "things," or doing anything. The sacrifice is that we have to give up on the notion that we need anything and we must be prepared to give up things that do not demonstrate our happiness. Happiness comes as quickly as thinking about it. Be happy first then go out and do things that represent happy to you. Happiness comes in the silent moments between events, when there is nothing left to do, when we have given up on finding it, and when we have done everything else. When we have given up on the notion that we have to find it, it finds us.

I don't know anyone that is happy all the time or even most of the time. I think happiness must be dessert. We have to go through the main course to find it. If dessert was the main course we would still move away from it once we had finished or had enough of it.

I believe that we can be happy all the time, but not experience it. As we get involved in doing the happy things we forget that we are happy until it enters our mind that we are happy. Too much happiness or dessert becomes irritating and mundane, like sex, you got to move away from it in order to appreciate it and be grateful for the times that you are experiencing it.

An emotion that comes from happiness is contentment, which is not as intense. But even contentment as happiness must be recycled. Life without extremes is none life. Life moves in waves and begins on the edge of all our emotions. Once you hand gets used to being in warm water, it is no longer appreciated as warm until you pull it out.

Once we let go of the thought that we will not longer experience happiness, then we will have time to focus on simply experiencing this emotion and it will be drawn into our lives. We won't have to do things to find it. Stop running, move away from the crowd, simplify your life become aware of your environment, learn to appreciate what is already around you and happiness will enter your thoughts always. Find the beauty in the simple rock, a blade of grass, or the people around you. You have created them, they are your wonders, and you brought them to you as opportunities to experience happiness.

Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A student of NLP, an ordained minister, New Age Light Worker and Teacher. Roy has written and published seven ebooks on New Age wisdom and a new book coming out in late 2005 in paper form. Roy's books are thought provoking and designed to empower you to take responsibility for your life and what you create. His books and articles are written in the simplicity and eloquence of Zen wisdom.

You may not always agree with what he has to say. You will always come away with a new perspective and your thinking will never be the same. Roy's style is honest and comes straight from the heart without all the metaphorical mumble jumble and BS. For More articles visit our new Article directory at http://www.klienwachter.com/spiritadp/
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Happiness as a Habit

Health and Happiness are the two things that most people will tell you they desire most. Ask a parent what they want most for their child and they will almost always say, "I really don't care, as long as they are healthy and happy." Sometimes people say they want love, success or wealth, but when asked why, they think for a moment and then say because these things would make them happy.

Usually people desire health above all else but only when they feel that it is threatened. People rarely think about health when they are young, fit, pain and disease free.

The single most sought after life experience is happiness.

If you made a list of the things you wished to improve in your life and then added notes alongside each item, detailing the amount of time and effort you were putting into each one, you would be greatly surprised at the lack of logic and or commitment you are applying to increasing or maintaining happiness. You may have happiness as the thing you most desire but your notes may reveal you spend 50 hours a week at your career, 10 hours housekeeping and 20 hours watching T.V. Next to the word 'Happiness' you may find, '10 minutes' or more likely, 'No time at all'.

Have you ever even stopped to think about what it is that makes you happy? Has it ever dawned on you to actively pursue happiness? Most of us simply consider happiness to be a random act that catches us fleetingly and disappears all too soon.

Happiness has fascinated me my entire life, I constantly seek it and play with it. I'm getting better at prolonging it and faster at recognizing it.

Honestly, sometimes I just sit and focus on happiness until, "I bring it on".

It takes a little concentration, sometimes some memory and sometimes imagination. Practise and focus have resulted in my ability to simply decide to be happy and I remind myself to do this often. I used to wait and be surprised and delighted when something caused me to be happy until I realized I could actually get happiness without an event or situation.

When happiness comes accidentally it entices us to, "be in the moment". Most of us are mentally in a perpetual state of being in the past or future most of the time. In happiness, we pull our attention into the present moment to fully experience this great feeling. (Pain also has this ability.) I mention this, as I know that the most essential requirement for happiness is to practise, 'Living in the present moment'.

Happiness is a present moment experience.

A couple of my other favourite quotes, which illustrate this point, are:
Life is what happens while your busy making other plans. (John Lennon)
This is not a dress rehearsal - This is your life.

These days will one day become the good old days.

Between the wanting and the getting - Is the living.

We all wait for happy events to come and find us or we sometimes actively seek out things that we believe will bring us happiness. Winning money, buying a big-ticket item, getting married, having a child, a holiday, a promotion or finding a new lover are usually considered to be happy events. Many of us spend a great amount of time, effort and money actively pursuing these things.

Unfortunately these things come with a 'Happiness expiry date'.

Ironically, we often find our happiness list reverses on us at a later date. We then hear, "I'll be happy when my divorce comes through, when I retire, when the kids leave home." The car you once dreamed about owning is now just a costly mode of transport. Your bride has become your witch and your home is cluttered with things you long forgot you even possess.

Happiness is not about having - Happiness is about being.

We have all heard it before but we must constantly remind our selves, 'Happiness comes from within'.
Happiness is internally generated not externally manufactured.

Happiness is not a tonic with a recipe; I cannot give you a list of things to do to guarantee your happiness. Some people seem to never be happy, no matter what and yet other people are just filled with joy for the simplest reasons. Most of the time I am happy for no particular reason at all other than the fact that I choose to be.

There are two basic principles that I do consider to be imperative;

One; Is actively pursue, maintain, expand and share happiness.

Two; Is minimize, eliminate and repel unhappiness.

The most important aspect of happiness is to choose what thoughts you will entertain and which thoughts you will dismiss.

Eliminate what you hate.
This is going to sound a little obvious but it's amazing when you get down to it, just how much grief you may be hanging onto without ever giving it any serious thought at all. "How much of your time, emotion and energy are you wasting on maintaining things that make you unhappy?"

Some people spend their entire working life is jobs that are almost soul destroying. Many people stay in relationships that are physically, mentally and emotionally draining. We may have friends, colleagues, neighbours or relatives that simply, 'drive us crazy' and yet we maintain them. Some people hold on to addictions or habits that time and again bring about the same destructive outcome and yet they still go around and around repeating the cycle over and over. If you are serious about increasing your happiness level you must first define what makes you unhappy and take action to eliminate it.

Being unhappy robs us of our health by depleting our energy.
Love and happiness are the highest and lightest forms of energy. This higher, lighter form of energy is self-generating. Unhappiness robs us of energy and if left unchecked will lead to depression and tiredness. Your energy level is a great way to measure your happiness or your stress level. It is also gives you an accurate indication of your health in general. Happiness and love will fill you with energy and a good supply of energy will bring you more joy.

If it brings your Grief - Make it Brief.
Where is your focus and what is your perception? Almost every terrible thing that ever happened to you only happened in your imagination. Just think back over the last year and remind yourself of the things that had you tossing and turning in bed at night. Try and recall all the things that really had you worried, scared or upset.

How many actually happened? And of the ones that did happen, how many were anywhere near as bad as you had imagined?

Stepping up and stepping out of our comfort zones.
You know the saying, "One door closes and another door opens." I've often been very frustrated with this, as I wondered, "Why doesn't the new door ever open before the old door closes?" It seems to me that more often than not, my doors close long before the new doors open and I have spend a long time being panicked in corridors.

It's scary! Life gives us many situations in which we lose our comfort zone long before our new life is revealed to us. Ah, life in limbo! We handle it badly, but a fact of life it is. In reinventing yourself you are going to have to accept that limbo is not only a high probability but you are also going to have to actively take yourself there deliberately.

I have often thought of my life pushing me up an arduous mountain and leaving me with no way of going back, I imagine fire moving swiftly behind me, threatening me and pushing me forward. When I reach the top of the mountain I realize I must jump or be engulfed by the fire. The terror of believing I will either be burned to death or smashed against the rocks at the bottom of the mountain has me completely immobilized.
Then somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a voice, "Jump, you can fly!"

If you want small, safe changes to occur in your life then the effort and risk will not be so frightening but if you really wish to "Step out and step up" You had better accept that you will need to be Bold and Brave. You will never fly if you won't leave the ground.

Sonya Green West Australian Author and Personal Growth workshop facilitator. Writer and producer of guided meditations and webmaster of http://www.reinventingmyself.com

The Psychology of Happiness

A lot has been written about happiness and from psychology to philosophy, different theories of happiness have focused on issues of satisfaction, contentment, and even spiritual liberation. But happiness is one of the most subjective mental states and several factors could be at play when a person is truly happy. Whereas anger or fear could be defined with physical reactions and certain behavioural patterns, this is not so for happiness and that is how happiness is extremely subjective. For example one bar of chocolate could make one child happy whereas another child would want two chocolate bars to feel truly happy.
So why do we feel happy? Happiness is usually associated with some kind of gain or attainment. When we achieve or attain something, we feel satisfied and this triggers happiness. The attainment does not have to be material, it could very well be spiritual. It could even be bodily and physical, just as an insomniac person would feel happy after a good night's sleep. So, in defining happiness we have to locate a specific material, spiritual or physical gain or attainment and the contentment arising as a result of this attainment. The question would arise whether it is possible to be happy without any attainment. I would say that it is not possible to happy without attaining something and this attainment does not have to be immediate and could be related any past achievement. Now, you could say that you do know someone who is always happy without any specific reason. It's that you haven't found out the reason for his happiness. He may be a simple man with simple needs and happy after a warm bath or a nice meal, so that's still some attainment. So, happiness always involves some attainment or need fulfilment, however small or big that is.
Psychologists have used several models including bio psychosocial and PERMA models to explain happiness suggesting that happiness is attained when our biological, psychological and sociological needs are met or when there is pleasure (bodily for instance), engagement (in some activity for instance), relationships, meaning (for instance purpose of life) and accomplishments. These models suggest that happiness involves something deeper than just our fleeting pleasures. I would differ and suggest that happiness being extremely subjective, some people may just be happy attaining pleasures whereas some others would seek meaning or possibly accomplishments and relationships. So the level or type of attainment that makes one happy would vary from one person to another.
Thus some people would be happy when their basic needs are fulfilled whereas some others would not be happy even after significant professional accomplishments as they may be expecting some other level or kind of achievement. Thus happiness largely depends on our subjective understanding of what it means to be happy. Since happiness is so subjective it cannot be strictly placed within models or frameworks although the underlying common factor that makes people happy is always some kind of attainment, gain or need fulfilment.
The next level of analysis would be whether happiness could be categorized to generalized happiness or a continued happy state of mind and specific happiness for attaining one of the specific pleasures or goals. I would suggest that there cannot be a generalized state of happiness without a specific reason. A seemingly happy person may not be genuinely happy or may be genuinely happy as he may have attained an exalted spiritual state or accumulated substantial wealth. So again as we see a continued state of happiness could also be explained with attainment.
The need fulfilment or attainment that triggers happiness could be biological such as bodily pleasures as when we quench our thirst, satisfy physical desires etc. The attainment could be social when we form relationships and feel happy or simply talk to strangers at a large event or remain engaged in social activity, or the attainment could be spiritual when we seek and even find some kind of spiritual liberation. The attainment or need fulfilment could be psychological when our love needs are fulfilled or when we reach our goals or fulfil our ambitions. The biological, psychological, social and spiritual aspects of attainment could provide happiness according to their needs. Thus happiness is intricately tied to our specific needs although these needs could be interrelated as for example the need for status or power could be both social and psychological.
Thus we distinguish the factors that could lead to happiness
1. Biological (bodily pleasures, basic needs)
2. Social (status, relationships, social activity and engagement)
3. Psychological (emotional, love, friendship, personal accomplishments)
4. Spiritual (finding meaning and purpose, transpersonal needs)
There could be several reactions to happiness and this could range from smiling to engaging in rigorous physical activity as happiness could mean a sudden surge in energy levels. People who engage in physical activity are more likely to be happy due to improved blood circulation and general good health. However happiness being an extremely subjective emotional state, in order to feel genuinely happy, some achievement in terms of long term goals such as love or conjugal life, wealth, spiritual liberation, or professional achievement could help a person to attain a continued happy state of mind. This is the prolonged state of happiness that has causes similar to any transient state of happiness although the effects could be long lasting. The people who have a prolonged state of happiness are generally lively, sporty, fun loving and optimistic. A child may show a prolonged state of happiness when adequate care and love are provided by their parents or carers. However transient states of happiness are more common as prolonged states of happiness could be interrupted by adverse life events so momentary joys and pleasures provide us with reassurance to accept and embrace life.
From a more psychoanalytic point of view, happiness would be related to desire, libido, our energy levels and even the defense mechanisms that we unconsciously use to vent out our frustration and thus remain happy or calm. Happiness would naturally raise our libidinal levels and make us more energetic and high levels of energy could in turn make us happy, so this process is cyclical. Several scientific studies have shown that happiness is directly related to our levels of energy.
Considering defense mechanisms, psychoanalysis could in a way suggest that happiness is actually acting out or reaction formation when we show certain reactions that may be completely opposite to what we feel. For example in reaction formation we may show happiness, when in reality we are sad or depressed. Although genuine happiness could be explained with psychoanalysis as well, as for example, an artist is genuinely happy when he can sublimate his desires to socially acceptable forms of expression through his creativity. A sportsman is genuinely happy when he can channel his aggressive or sexual desires through sport or rigorous activity. So these defense mechanisms in psychoanalysis could actually produce genuine happiness in people because of the inherent survival and coping strategies involved in these defenses.
Finally, happiness being a state of mind would be entirely subjective and would evoke extreme subjective reactions. For instance, someone laughs on hearing a joke and feel happy about it and someone else would be sarcastic or may not feel the same level of excitement. Whereas anger and other emotions could be explained in terms of physical responses, happiness usually does not have defined physical responses although there is a general positive feeling of well being and the physical responses could vary considerably. As I have stated on the psychology of emotions, it would be necessary to determine the components of feeling and bodily reaction for every emotion including happiness and psychology has an extensive research project to consider for the future.

Reflections in Psychology - Part I - by Saberi Roy (2009)
http://www.lulu.com/content/5865445
Reflections in Psychology - Part II - by Saberi Roy (2011)
[http://www.saberiroy.com]

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Tips On How To Be Happy At Work

Unfortunately a lot of people state that their work place or job makes them unhappy. If this is something that affects your levels of happiness, then take a look at the following tips on how to be happy at work.

Let's start by saying that no one is permanently happy in their workplace, and we all face days where we just don't want to go. However there are certain things that we can do in order to avoid those days. The first tip I can give you is to never put things off. Many of us have had difficult clients that we just don't want to deal with, but unfortunately putting things off can only lead to us feeling unhappy. When you are faced with this situation you should tackle it quickly and get it done. That way you are not dwelling on it, and you will feel a sense of achievement once it is done.

Do not overload yourself with work. Many people take on too much work and become stressed and unhappy. One of the best ways to be happy at work is to stay on top of your workload. That doesn't mean that you should skip lunch in order to get work done, as this will just affect your concentration and work. If you are falling behind on urgent work then you could always eat and work at the same time.

You can improve the way in which you feel about work by personalising your work area. This means pinning up photos of your loved ones or placing a photo on your desk. If you start to feel low then a quick glimpse of your family or even your pet will put a smile on your face.

One of the key ways to be happy at work is not to be scared to say no. Many of us feel stressed and pressurised into saying yes to colleagues when they get asked for help, this can sometimes add more pressure onto ourselves. No one likes to say no, but saying yes when you really can't or don't want to is going to affect your happiness.

One final bit of information that I suggest for you to be happy at work is not to involve yourself in things that do not concern you. Within the workplace the less you know is sometimes better, as it keeps you focused on what is important. This allows you to free your brain of the stressful situations that you no control over. Through following the simple tips listed above you will be able to ensure that you remain happy at work.

The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight, and Be Happy by Bob Greene

"The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight, and Be Happy" is the newest book by fitness author Bob Greene, who also wrote "Make the Connection: Ten Steps to a Better Body and a Better Life," "Keep the Connection: Choices for a Better Body and a Healthier Life," "The Best Life Diet," and a number of others.

This book, written with psychologist Ann Kearney-Cooke and nutritionist Janis Jibrin focuses on common barriers to weight loss success and provides practical tips in regards to emotional eating and lack of motivation.

After an introduction, where Greene tells a personal story that involves his looking into the emotional and psychological side of weight loss, and what this book can do for the reader, it begins with a chapter on barriers to weight loss success. Greene addresses eight barriers, and none of them are eating or exercising, but rather mental or emotional aspects.

In chapter two, Kearney-Cooke addresses overcoming emotional eating. This is a big problem for many, and this chapter reveals some simple ways to find your motivation, overcome barriers, and find replacements for eating to deal with emotions. It's a practical chapter with advice on how to achieve your goals in these areas.

The third chapter is by Jibrin, and it focuses on rewiring your sugar, fat, and salt loving brain. There is some interesting information on why we eat what we do, eight reasons why we should get control of our eating, and her nine step program for sticking to a nutritious, calorie appropriate diet.

Greene is back with chapter four, where he covers conquering exercise aversion. If you have trouble getting up and getting going, this chapter may just help you find some motivation to move.

He lists thirteen reasons to exercise, and you really only need to pick one to motivate yourself to do it. He addresses many common excuses and to overcome them, as well as different types of exercises you should be including into your workouts.

Chapter five is on transforming your body image, and in it Kearney-Cooke addresses a topic that many people need help with, especially with the images we are bombarded with on television and the print media.
Greene is back again with chapter six, which covers maintaining weight loss. He looks at what works and what doesn't, and provides some good suggestions and tips in making sure when you lose weight, you keep it off.

Being happy is important, and Kearney-Cooke looks at what it takes to be happy in chapter seven. I liked this chapter and think a lot of people could benefit from following the simple guidelines set forth in these pages.

Following chapter seven, there is Appendix 1 which contains The Lifestyle Log. This is an encouragement with a sample worksheet, to record important things about your lifestyle such as your sleep, hunger, food and drink consumption, etc.

Appendix 2 covers Body Mass Index, while Appendix 3 has the Goldberg Depression Scale. Appendix 4 has instructions on goal setting worksheets with a sample, and Appendix 5 has The Motivational Interview to help you assess yourself. Appendix 6 is The Best Life Approach to Exercise by Greene. Simple plan with suggested exercises. Short descriptions of the exercises, but no pictures.

Overall, this is a good book for many people who are having difficulties losing weight, or keeping it off, due to emotional hangups or the lack of motivation.

The authors offer simple and practical guidance to overcome such barriers, get motivated, lose weight, and be happy. If you need assistance in these areas, check out this book, but more importantly, apply what the authors teach.

Can You Be Happy in a Loveless Marriage?

On an almost daily basis, I have people who contact me and ask for advice on handling or coping with their "loveless marriage." Sometimes they are describing a relationship where the spark, connection, affection, and chemistry is gone.

And other times, they mean that they and their spouse are no longer having sex. Whatever the actual living arrangements, they are usually reaching out because they know that there is a serious flaw in their marriage and they want to find a way to be with happy within in.

Most of the time, they don't see divorce as an option perhaps because of their children or because they believe that this commitment should be forever. I often hear comments like "We'll never get divorced so how can I learn to be happy in my loveless marriage?" Or, "how can I survive and keep my sanity in a marriage without love?" In the following article, I'll explore whether it's possible to truly be happy when you're living in a loveless marriage.

Finding Happiness In A Loveless Marriage. Is It Possible? Before I get to this specific question, I want to offer some reassurance that this is an incredibly common situation. Often, when people tell me that they're living in a marriage which they don't see as loving, it's as if they confessing something truly strange, and they're almost ashamed of it.

I have to tell you though that I'm seeing this situation with much more frequency. Perhaps it's because of our economy or other external factors, but this situation is not one that is at all uncommon. So, if you're feeling guilt or shame, you can rest assured that you're most definitely not alone.

Another issue that I've noticed is that most people who contact me about this issue have given up hope that their marriage can or will change. Many of them see the lack of love as something that is going to be permanent.

They usually aren't looking for a way to change the marriage into a loving one (at least at first.) Instead, they're looking for a way to be happy or to cope in spite of it. I find this to be somewhat frustrating because I've seen even marriages which appeared to be completely devoid of affection turn around.

But back to question of whether it's possible to be happy in this situation. I think that it's possible to be happy in other areas of your life.

For example, you can be happy because of your children or your career or your friends. You can be happy with yourself. You can have a very rich internal and even external life so long as you are able to separate all of these things from your marriage.

And that's really where the problem lies. When you are in this situation, your ability to be happy almost lies within your ability to simultaneously separate your life from your marriage. This is not to say that it can't be done because I've seen people who are able to do this. They basically have come to accept their marriage for what it is and they live around it. And some of them even appear to be content.

But I'm always left wondering what would happen and what their life and contentment level would look like if they were able to find some love or loving feelings within their marriage again. I suspect life would go from firing on half cylinders to full cylinders and this would feel quite different to all involved.

I truly believe that you don't need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy. In other words, I certainly don't believe that a woman always needs a man to be complete or to feel fulfilled. But, when you are already in a relationship and are accepting that this relationship will never be a loving or fulfilling one, then I suspect that you might be selling yourself short.

Sure, you can learn to separate your satisfaction in other areas of your life from your marriage and in this case you could function just fine and even feel happiness and satisfaction. But the joy that comes from loving and feeling loved would be absent and I suspect that this absence would be certainly be felt.

Does this mean you can't be happy? Absolutely not. It just means that you have to learn to be happy without this particular aspect of your life present, which could potentially mean that although you don't reach your entire capacity for happiness, you generally feel happy enough.

What Are Your Options When You're Living In A Loveless Marriage?: Sometimes when I discuss this topic with folks, they tell me that they don't feel as if they really have any choices. For a variety of reasons, they aren't going to walk away from their marriage or from their spouse. Mostly, I don't think that they feel that their problems are severe enough to walk away. Many tell me that their spouse is a good person with whom that get along but whom they just aren't "in love with."

So, the options would appear to be to leave the relationship in search of a better one. (And as I said this usually is seen as the last resort.

I can certainly respect this because I too believe that in many cases, marriage should be forever.) The second option would be to learn to live around the marriage as best as you can and to seek happiness in other areas of your life. And some people have become quite good at this.

The third option would be try to improve the marriage so that you no longer have to try to mesh a loveless marriage with your own happiness. I am generally surprised that more people don't pursue this option.

I firmly believe and have experienced marriages which had been "loveless" for years make dramatic and satisfying come backs. And I'll often suggest that this is certainly worth a try. What do you have to lose if the marriage is already one that is lacking in love? I would suspect that the possibility of being happy in all areas of your life would make this an option worth pursuing.

It was my husband, not me, who felt that our marriage was "loveless," so he threatened to end it. I knew that it wasn't over for me and I refused to give up. I felt very strongly that we could be happy again. But, for a long time I drew on negative emotions rather than positive ones.

Lean In Women - And Be Happy You Live In the USA

Not long ago I met a woman, a single mom, who has 5-kids, all girls, holy moly indeed. I'd say as a single mom, she's a hell of a role model of perseverance and focus. That's pretty amazing isn't it, and not the kind of work-load you'd want to condemn on your worst enemy. To top it off, this superstar also runs her own business, I'm like OMG, she is making us all look bad, your basic human dynamo you'd say.

Guess what she did with her almost all grown daughters? She took them to India, where they learned about how women in other parts of the world are treated, considered second class citizen almost, especially under the caste system there. What an eye-opener for sure.

She didn't take them to a Muslim Middle Eastern country as a group of Western Women traveling in that situation is, shall we say less than optimal, but I'd say her daughters got a world-class education in "how the other half lives" and how lucky they are to be "Born In the USA" as they say.

No, it's not perfect here, and the glass ceilings are coming down rather nicely, and here in the US we can stand on the moral high ground for that. Hopefully the rest of the world will follow. As much of a challenge as it can be for women in the US, especially in certain professions which are mostly dominated by men, imagine the tough time it would be if you were a woman in some other part of the world.

How about in Saudi Arabia for instance, but that's hardly the only place where life is tough on women. Maybe Sheryl Kara Sandberg is right, maybe it is time to lean in, and lean in hard.

As a competitive track star and runner, one thing my coaches used to tell me is that when you have nothing left, and your legs are toast, you must lean forward and drive with the arms, don't worry, your legs will follow, just lean forward, let gravity help, and drive the point home.

Maybe that's the message we need to tell our young women in the US, that nothing is impossible - tell them they can do it, and lean in against that headwind, let gravity help because the laws of physics are on your side, you can do anything you put your mind too, especially here in the USA where we have a more level playing field, one that is being rebalanced as we speak, now is the time - make it happen.

How To Be Really Happy Forever

Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness depends on many factors.

Many people believe that money brings happiness, because if they can pay and fulfil all their desires they imagine that they will be happy forever. However, money is only a facility. It cannot buy health, love and peace.

If you are sick, alone, in a war, dominated by craziness and despair, money cannot save you. It can help you find famed doctors, or paid lovers, or a false peace based on the threat of weapons, but everything you can get by paying is only an illusion. You need much more in order to feel really satisfied.

If you want to be really happy forever you have to change the world, bringing peace, abundance and happiness to Earth, besides helping humanity cultivate love, patience, goodness and humility in its heart.
You have to put an end to craziness, terrorism and despair.

If you cannot transform everything, you will never be completely happy.

So, you have either to accept to live in a crazy world full of violence and absurdity, trying to be happy on your "personal island", where only your family and your friends have importance for you, or you have to transform this crazy world into a place where everyone will have the chance to be happy, otherwise you will never be really happy too.

This is a selfish thought, but I know that you are very selfish from birth - this is why I'm explaining the truth to you in terms you can understand. You would never care for the world's pain if it didn't affect you.
I notice that each time I write an article about general happiness and the necessity to change the world so that everyone will at least have the basic conditions of life besides many things more, only a few people read my articles.

However, when I give lessons about their personal lives and how they can overcome their problems, those articles are the most often viewed.

Yes, nobody cares for the entire world. Nobody really cares for humanity.

Everyone only wants to live well, without working and only having fun. This is the ideal scenario, even though they know that things cannot be this way and they get adapted to the reality of their lives. However, their philosophy of life is the above mentioned, without a doubt.

You probably are not an exception...

Are you?

I really hope that you are, because some people are exceptions, even though they are quite rare. You will find one sensitive person that cares for the well being of the entire world, among billions and billions of alienated creatures that care only about their personal lives...

However, the truth is that the desire to be happy in such world the way it is now, with so many horrors, is in fact a crazy desire.

Don't you agree that only crazy creatures would try to be happy in a place where violence, terrorism, immorality, hypocrisy, poverty and other horrors exist?

I'm sure you do, if you are sensible. But you don't know how to change the crazy world, and you have no power...

At this point you need a miracle. And only because the miracle does exist, have I started explaining the truth in this way, otherwise I would not start showing you how absurd it is to want to be happy in a place where craziness prevails, because I would have to abandon you totally disappointed at the end of this article, while my intention is to help you solve your problems.

The miracle is inside you and sends you dreams with warnings, lessons and free psychotherapy everyday. It is the wise and saintly unconscious mind, that tries to save the human side of your conscience from the wild, primitive side that is responsible for the existence of craziness in the human mind.

If you follow the guidance you receive in your dreams, the unconscious mind will show you how you can transform your psyche, develop your personality and become a self-confident genius, so that you may be able to solve all the problems of the world, not only thanks to your intelligence, but thanks to your sensitivity and the superiority of your spirit.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.

Why It Is Important To Be Happy

 

The simple answer to this question is because it is not worth to remain moody or sad. An answer based on biological observations would be happiness trigger the production of vital hormones in the body that is crucial for overall health and metabolism. Another worthy reply to this query is happiness brings in a positive and stable mental frame of mind. But, whichever concept you endorse upon, one aspect is quite clear, being happy is many times more worthy than letting the negative emotions build in yourself.

Realistically enough, we all live in a world amidst so much of unlucky people, poverty, violence, stress, competition, and all sorts of sadness inducing environment you can think of. So it is only natural that a part of our mind always tends to carry a tinge of sadness or lean towards this negative emotion often because the natural momentum is acting in that direction.

But, being sad could leave more than a profound impact on the human body as far as its overall health is concerned. As per the latest medical researches, most cases of depression, stress, apnea, migraine, and many other diseases have its roots in the sad frame of mind.

Even the specialists treat these conditions say, one of the best medicines for these diseases are happiness, laughter and relaxation. Need any more proof to believe that it is important to be happy?

From you, the common man out there, the only possible way out of this mess is to make a mental effort by yourself - to muster the drive and power - in order to trudge your way back to happiness.

Learn to focus on better and positive things when sadness sets in, and try to convince oneself that you are still lucky and well placed than many others living in this world. Make it a habit to smile even in adversities, and avoid being alone. That is, always try to be in the company of others or engage yourself in activities that interest you to the core. Never ever let the mind wander idle.

Finally, if you are convinced that you are not able to shrug of the element of sadness fully, consider consulting a psychologist. If there is any case of a budding depression, then earlier medical intervention could set things straight. In short, try every possible step to fight off sadness, mentally or medically, whichever is required. Because, it is really important to be happy! The stakes are that high.

John Khu is an experience entrepreneur and internet marketer. He specializes in communication development and personal happiness.

Your Rules Influence How Happy and Successful You Will Become

At one time, I went on a holiday to a beautiful island. The accommodation we stayed in was good although not as luxurious as the resort nearby. The island however was beautiful, just to sit on the beach and watch the sunrise or sunset was magical.

My friend Julie who accompanied me wasn't happy doing this. Instead of enjoying her surroundings and the beauty of nature, she would watch the rich people staying at the nearby resort and envy how they lived.

Julie constantly compared herself to others who were more prosperous and she found herself and her lifestyle lacking. Julie had constant money problems and wondered why no matter how hard she worked, she never seemed to get what she really wanted.

Our perception of success or happiness is dictated by our rules, and Julie's rules implied that in order for her to be successful and happy, she had to live comfortably. These rules not only prevented her from becoming happy, they also limited her opportunities. The more rigid your rules, the harder it will be for you to achieve and be happy with your goals.

A lot of people live by the 'I'll be happy when... ' rule. They believe they will be happy when they find the right person to share their life with, when they find the right job, when they buy a home of their own, have children, or have more money. When you live by the 'I'll be happy when... ' rule you spend your life striving. It won't matter how much you achieve because it will never be enough.

Sometimes though, rules can serve us and one of mine is that I never make a decision based on fear. Many years ago when I was looking for direction in my own life, I consulted an astrologer and we became quite friendly. Later, when I bought my home I invited her to my house-warming party. She rang to say she couldn't attend and took the opportunity to berate me for buying a house.

She said, 'Anne, how could you buy a house? You know as well as anyone the financial disasters that are going to happen. How could you take on a mortgage at this time?' The disasters that she referred to were predictions of the collapse of our entire financial system, as well as a tidal wave hitting Sydney close to where I live. It hadn't even occurred to me to listen to these dire predictions. I simply followed my intuition, and many years later my home doubled in value while this woman was still renting.

There is nothing good or bad about rules; some rules will make you happy, others will make you unhappy. If you have rules, you need to be aware of them and you discover what your rules are by listening to your words. Any time you say, 'Should', 'Must', or 'Have to', you have discovered one of your rules.

Generally speaking, the more rules you have, the harder you make life for yourself and for those around you. The less 'should' in your life means less stress. That does not mean you have to give up all of your standards, just choose to make conscious choices each time rather than having a lot of blanket rules.

What Does it Mean to Be Happy?

What is happiness?  What will it take to make you happy?  People all over the world look for what it takes to make them happy in their lives, but it seems like a great many people never quite "find it."
Its my opinion that this is part of the problem.  Happiness isn't something that's found.  Happiness isn't something that finds you either.  If it is something that can be found then where it can be found might surprise you.

It's in your mind.  that's right, it can be found within the depths of your own mind.  It's a choice that you make everyday.  When you look around at your life, you make a decision about it.  You decide to be happy with it or you don't.

You can choose to look around at all the small annoyances that you that you face and decide that you because of those, you're not going to be happy.  A little secret about those little annoyances is that they're always going to be there.  No matter what you do for a living , or where you live, or how much money you have, if you choose to focus your energy on these things, you'll likely never find lasting happiness.

However on the flip side if you come to the understanding that there are always going to be those little annoyances, you'll have taken a huge first step toward becoming a happy person. 

The good thing about this is that you'll find that once you start focusing on the things in your life that make you happy, those small annoyances will become much less influential on your mind and therefore your happiness.  You'll find yourself paying more attention to the things that make you happy as opposed to the things that don't, and that will make a big difference in your life.

Justin Bott is a successful entrepreneur operating an internet marketing business. He is well versed in this field and has a keen desire to become more successful and to help others become successful as well.

As someone who's searched his entire life for success, he's studied many different programs and philosophies and brought them together to create a sustainable home-based business. Go to, to find out how he got started.

Will I Ever Be Happy Again After My Husband Walked Out?

I often hear from wives who are extremely depressed after their husband has left. Many just can not envision ever feeling happy or secure again. Common comments are something like: "last week, my husband packed his bags and walked out on me. So far, he is avoiding my calls. He ignores my texts. So I'm not able to talk to him and see what he is thinking or feeling.

The harsh reality that he might not come back is starting to creep in and this is almost more than I can bear. I just can not ever see myself being happy without him. There is no other man for me. My mom and my friends have been trying to cheer me up and get me out of the house, but I have no interest in these things.

I just don't see myself being happy unless he is my life. My mom says that one day I will move on and I will be OK. I can't ever envision this. How am I supposed to ever be happy again after he's walked out on me?" I'll try to address these concerns below.

Don't Assume The Worst Case Scenario: This wife was assuming that because her husband had been silent for a week, she had lost him forever. This was jumping to the worst case scenario. And frankly, this can be a mistake. There are occasions when men cool off once they have some time to reflect and eventually come home to their wives ready to work things out.

Sometimes, this process takes a while, but it is not uncommon. Men do sometimes come back after they walk out. I had no way of knowing if that was going to happen in this case. But I am mentioning this to let you know that you don't always have to assume that his walking out means that you are never going to get him back. Sometimes, with a workable plan, a little luck, and some patience, you can get him back.

Understand That You Are More Than Your Relationships: I find that many wives in this situation feel completely lost at the thought of not being part of a married couple. Their identity and their own happiness is tied up in their marriage and in their husband.

So when they fear that these things are going to be gone, then they equate this will the loss of their identity and their happiness. When you do this, you truly are selling yourself short. Your happiness is not dependent on your relationships. You are valuable and worthy all on your own.

Here's something else to consider. Sometimes, when we become so afraid of losing something, we become desperate and this makes us appear needy and unattractive. I mention this because it's important to understand that although it's completely natural to worried and fearful right now, sometimes if you completely give into those emotions, you will make it so that your husband is reluctant to spend time with you or interact with you because your negative emotions bring about the negativity that he's been trying to avoid all along.

The Vast Majority Of Wives In Similar Situations Will Tell You It Does Get Better: As you may have suspected, I've been through this myself. I did eventually get my husband back. But you know what? My situation did not improve until I made up my mind that I was going to dust myself off and do my best to begin to bring some happiness back into my life.

This was certainly a struggle, but I knew how easy it would be for me to sink down into a depression that would do me no good and would make my husband less likely to come around. Also, I sometimes hear back from women who have reached out to me on my blog early in the process. Some do get their husbands back, but some do not for various reasons. Even those who don't get their husbands back do eventually check in later and most are doing just fine. With time and perspective, many can look back and see that this whole thing was part of a process. This is true whether they saved their marriage or not.

The days following your husband walking out are filled with confusion, pain, and fear. In short, it is the worst of times and it can be difficult to imagine yourself happy again. But I promise you that happiness is possible, no matter what happens with your marriage.

To me, it makes sense to begin to do the things that bring you happiness, even though you don't know what tomorrow brings for your marriage. This will make day to day life easier for you and it often actually helps your marriage.

Fill your days with the people and things that lighten your load. Know that it could always be worse. Know that reaching out to others and offering help to someone else will often make you feel better right away. In short, doing those things that help you move forward are almost always the right way to go. There is no down side. Right now, it's up to your to look out for your own best interest. You deserve to be happy, no matter what your circumstances. And frankly, circumstances can change. But your happiness should not be dependent upon them.

As I said, I was filled with unhappiness in the days after my husband left. But, after a while, this just got very old. I was tired of feeling so awful all of the time. So, I turned to family and friends and I started doing things that I knew would make me feel a little better. Frankly, once I started having a brighter outlook, my husband became interested in me again.

A Life Worth Living - Expect Less Be Happy

 

I have heard and read numerous quotes throughout my life (till date) on what life is and how to live your life? How to make it happy and how to make sure you spend every moment of it? And blah, blah, blah; enough has been told. But what has influenced me most is the following line-
"EXPECT LESS and BE HAPPY"

I do not who said it nor did I make any effort to search it over internet. But these five words have influenced me so much that I cannot help but just admire the one who said it. And how true it is.

God gave us life as a human, not everybody is as lucky as we are. We all could have born as a dog, cat and any other living being you can think of other than human. But we are wasting it. Yes, we are ruining this gift of God big time. And he won't be happy about this.

We always expect- from family, friends, loved ones, God and our self. I do not say it is wrong to expect something from your near ones; after all, they are the one with who you expect to be up to your level of demands. But what's wrong is that stressing your self when those expectations are not fulfilled.

Ask a question- why are you stressing your self when others do not live up to your expectations? They never say they would do this and do that, it was all you assumed.

You assumed that they will do it. You assumed that they will do anything to make you happy. You assumed that you are special for them. You are assumed that they care for you.

Your assumptions are not too wrong but it is not their fault if they don't do what you expected. They never promised you. Expecting too much is always difficult. You are being unfair.

I believe in expecting less. In that way, I keep myself always cheerful. Low expectations from everybody, even from those who are very close to you and about whom you are sure they won't disappoint you, is a good rule to remain happy. Consider below-

You expect 9/10 for a performance, your manager thought you deserve 5 but still he gives 8. I bet you won't be happy about that because higher expectations often bring sadness than cheerfulness. In the same scenario, you deserved 5 and you know that but still you say to yourself- let me keep on lower side so I expect he will give me 4.

But manager still gives you 7. In first case, you got 8 but were not happy and in second case, you got 7 but still more than happy. It is important to be practical and realistic. Thinking without limits is very injurious to mind and heart.

That was it. I urge every one of you reading this to go deeper in the meaning of the line and start practicing it religiously. My experiences have been pleasant with it and since I have started expecting less, I am more than happy. Do not waste this God's gift, this life in sulking and complaining. It is given to you to spend in the most beautiful way and spend it that way.

I'll Be Happy When "This" Happens

"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you will never find it." -C.P. Snow, English novelist

How many times have you heard or used the expression: "I'll be happy when... "? We've all said it. I'll be happy when I have more money, when I find the perfect partner, when I change jobs, when I get a promotion, when I get a new car, when I have a new home, when I lose weight, when my child graduates, when I retire, when I live in a different location, when I can take a vacation. The list could go on and on.

And have you ever noticed how someone else's behavior can impact your happiness? I was reminded of this recently while standing at the check-out counter in the grocery store. The woman in line behind me was on her cell phone talking to a friend.

I heard her say how upset she was with all the traveling her husband had to do for his job. She remarked that he was never home and that when he was, he was too exhausted to make any plans with her. After a few more complaints, she ended by saying: "I'll be happy when he quits his job!"

I mention this because we tend to think happiness is dependent on outside circumstances, situations, events and people. We believe that bliss comes as a result of certain things happening. But we have it backwards. Happiness comes from the inside AND THEN manifests on the outside in the form of results.

We also think that other people are responsible for our happiness (or unhappiness); that what someone else does or doesn't do has a direct impact on our joy. But the truth is - happiness is a choice we make in every moment no matter what is occurring around us. It's not a destination that we reach at some point because something happens or someone does something. Happiness is a feeling that is entirely up to us and is directly related to our thoughts.

Let me share another story with you:
One of my favorite inspirational authors (Joe Vitale) posted a personal story on one of his websites. Two weeks ago his main computer crashed, his laptop stopped working, all of his websites went off line for no apparent reason, and he ended up in the hospital with emergency surgery to have his appendix removed.

Now that certainly seems like enough to make someone unhappy! And the fact is, most people would have complained about these setbacks and been really miserable. But here's what Joe said about his situation: "I didn't see the experience -- any of it -- as negative.

I was never angry, upset, fearful or any other negative emotion. I was at best curious. I'd also say it was an enforced vacation." Instead of being unhappy with all the turmoil in his life, Joe CHOSE to be curious about why he had attracted this experience and he CHOSE to be happy about having some much needed downtime.

The next time you start to say, "I'll be happy when... or I'm unhappy because... " think about this quote from Abraham Lincoln: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Don't wait for something or someone to change in the future. Make up your mind to be happy NOW and watch what unfolds!

How to Be Happy in a Bad Marriage

The idea of getting married is to fulfill that childhood fantasy that grows with us all the way into adulthood. 'And they lived happily ever after'. That was the idea when you got married I'm sure but now it's all gone. You are looking for ways on how to be happy in a bad marriage.

What you need to know is you are now looking for a solution and not the cause. So it would be wise not to point fingers. You could identify the cause but not apportion the blame. Marriage is really not a happily ever after story. Marriages involve meeting hurdles and challenges and being able get past them and move on.

If you want to know how to be a happy in a bad marriage, the first thing you both need to do is agree on one thing. That there is a problem; it needs to be solved and you are both willing to solve it. If you try to solve a marriage crisis without the involvement of your spouse you will always come out drawing the short end of the stick.

Think about the happiness that you once shared. You are still the same couple, what could have possibly gone so wrong that you cannot put that warmth back into your relationship. Remember a plant starts growing as soon as it feels a little warmth. It's the little things that matter.

Maybe you feel your spouse is now at a point where you cannot even communicate. When you try to address the problem do they become cold and evasive? Your marriage can go back to what it was or even get better. With a little help and encouragement on how you can be happy in a bad marriage; you will be amazed at the things you can turn around.

10 Things Indoor Cats Need To Be Happy

 Keeping your cat indoors is safer for a number of reasons: it minimizes its exposure to toxins as well as infections from other cats.

Preventing your pet from venturing outdoors will also protect it from getting run over or being killed by dogs or other cats. Studies show that cats kept indoors live at least twice as long as cats that are allowed outdoor access.

Keeping your cat stimulated and happy is a concern many owners have and here are 10 things you can do to ensure your indoor cat is happy and content:

1. Litter Box: Your cat's litter box should be cleaned on a daily basis with the litter changed every month. The litter box should be kept in a low traffic area so your feline feels safe when using it.

2. Good Food: Cats are carnivorous animals and should be fed high protein diets. Cheap supermarket cat food brands don't provide quality nutrients needed to maintain the health of your cat so always try to choose the best quality food you can.

3. Grass: Cats love eating grass and you should provide your kitty with the opportunity to eat grass every now and then. Special grass growing kits are available at most pet shops or you can easily grow some in a small pot.

4. Toys: Cats love to play so buy your cat some interactive toys to physically and mentally stimulate it. They are fascinated by catnip so you should try to find toys that are stuffed with this herb to attract your cats' attention.

5. Try to set aside some time every day to play with your cat, as they love a good game of chase and there are many toys available that will allow you to play with your kitty such as feline flyers and laser lights.

6. Scratching Posts: Provide your cat with a scratching post if you value your furniture. Cats love using scratching posts to keep their claws sharp as well as to mark territory.

7. Safe Area: Cats like to hide in places they feel secure so place a cat carrier or cat bed in a low traffic area of the house that your cat can go to if it wants some quiet time.

8. Visual Stimulation: Your kitty should have the opportunity to look out a window to see the outside world. A bird feeder placed within view of the window will provide your cat with endless hours of entertainment.

9. Perches: Cats love climbing and there are special perches available at pet stores that can help satisfy this instinct in your feline. Cats love observing their environment from high places and your cat will truly appreciate a perch.

10. TLC: Cats enjoy attention so be sure to indulge your kitty with a lot of tender love and care!

How to Be Happy? According to Aristotle

According to the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, we may achieve happiness by moderation. Happiness is not something you have to reach to, it is not a goal in itself, and it is not the end or destination of our daily activity. Actually, it is the activity itself. Our activity should be a happy activity. Happiness is not a fixed static condition; it is a dynamic ongoing accompaniment of our activity. It is how we do things; it is not what things bring to us.

We feel happy when we eat good tasty food in good company. We do not eat without any feeling of happiness and then at the end we feel happy. When we recall some good happy memories of good past times and we feel happy, this in itself is an activity accompanied by happiness. We have to engage in activities in our daily life to feel happy. We cannot sit down and wait for happiness to come to us.

However, people differ in what makes them happy. Someone may feel happy among crowds of people and hectic activity. Another may feel happier when he is alone or in a quiet peaceful environment. There is no fixed formula or a prescription to tell people how to get happiness. We can only achieve happiness by trial and error. If a certain situations or activities make us happy, that is how to achieve happiness. However, what makes you happy may seem unpleasant to me.

Does this mean that there are no rules and people can decide for themselves what sort of activity to make for being happy? Is this unrelated to the impact of such activity on other people and on the individual's own future happiness?

Aristotle has introduced the principle of the golden mean. By this, he implies a certain degree between two extremes. It does not mean the middle or average value. Someone may find that he feels happy to eat as much as he wants, may end up suffering unhappiness in the future. Moderation is the way to strike a balance between current happiness and future outcomes.

The moderate pleasures are those, which would make you happy now and will not make you suffer in the future or make other people suffer because of your behaviour. That moderate degree is different among different people. Some people may need to eat more than others and many do not feel happy when they sense they are bloated and obese. What is good for one person may not be good for another. We cannot prescribe how much activity a person should do to make him happy. We have to take in consideration individual variations and choices.

The moral philosophy of Aristotle considers what is ethical and moral and what is unethical and evil. It looks at how much pleasure and happiness a particular behaviour would bring to the majority of people and to the persons involved. Sometimes we cannot decide by rational thinking alone if certain behaviour would lead to happiness or unpleasantness. Trial and error may lead us to know which behaviour to choose. We do need to learn from others' experiences.

A certain amount of experimentation would help us know how to be sure of our choices. A well documented and evidenced scientific knowledge may also provide us with warning signs about the future consequences of a certain current happy behaviour.

Some of our behaviours which makes us happy may make others would suffer. This is not ethical in any logical argument. A certain degree of self-control and restraint on unethical behaviour is needed. The government or the state enforce law and order to prevent unchecked hedonism from inflicting pain and suffering on others.

Moral education is needed for the young to develop a sense of moral judgement and to develop self-control. Some people by nature are morally weak or lack self-control. Self-discipline is a crucial element to achieve happiness for the individual and for the group.

How to Be Happy in Spite Of Your Circumstances

 

It is so easy, almost natural, to get caught up in self-pity and despair when things are going wrong in your life, but you can be happy in spite of your circumstances. The choice is yours to be more powerful than any circumstances in your life.

It can simply be a matter of perspective. You can choose to live each moment to its fullest. If you knew you didn't have a tomorrow, would today's problems really be as bad as they seem now? If this was your last day, wouldn't you want to spend it feeling happy and fulfilled?

You can always find the blessing in any situation if you look for it. Every situation in life, regardless of how tragic it may seem, is an opportunity to learn and grow. If you look for these opportunities you will become a better person because of your struggles.

Sometimes, you just have to let things go. If you are completely miserable at your job, it is time to find a new one. This applies to the people in your life as well. If you have a miserable person in your life, get rid of them. If it is a family member, at least limit the amount of time you spend with them. Life is just too short to be stuck hanging around with miserable people in a miserable environment.

Don't let others decide how you are going to be. If you get into a traffic accident and the other driver is yelling and cursing at you, you have a choice.

You can either stoop to his level by engaging in similar negative behavior, or you can be polite and maintain the positive attitude you had before the accident. Someone else's attitude does not have to become your own and ruin your entire day. You and only you have complete control over your emotions.

Life is full of precious moments; you get to choose how you are going to feel in every moment. You can concentrate on what is wrong, or your can be grateful for all of the blessings around you. You have clothes on your back, food on your table and air in your lungs, and there are many people in this world who don't. Make the choice to be happy and celebrate the absolute abundance that flows in your life.

How To Be Happy Under Stress

With the stress that has become the part and parcel of our life today, it has become imperative for us to know how to be happy. It can be easily achieved by a simple smile.

The old adage, Smile and the world smiles with you holds true even today. Or it may touch us through our relationships and love of work. Anything that gives us comfort or pleasure will teach us how to be happy.

We constantly devise methods of how to be happy. Razor-edge competition and fast paced economy leaves us with little time for ourselves. We are caught up in the rat race to win, compete, fight, and run. And in this race we forget how to be happy.

As we gradually begin to grow; wishing how to be happy in our hearts; we keep losing a track of our happiness in day to day living. Mental stress gets an aggressive hold over our lives ruled by bad health, troubled relationships, peer pressure, social responsibilities, work place conflicts, monetary problems and the never ending ambition.

The stress which drives us up the wall has taken its toll our lives both physically as well as mentally. Physically, the widely known symptoms are high blood pressure, insomnia, boredom, lack of hunger and reduced immune strength. It causes an infinite number of mental disorders like schizophrenia, depression, manic depression or severe malaise. Not even the foetus is safe. The cortisol linked to the weight of the baby, may be a potential mechanism for transmitting the mother's stress to her unborn baby.

There should be ways to decipher how to be happy under stress. The easiest way is to try to absorb only the positive moments of our lives. Search for happiness in the everyday simple events of your life. Know how to be happy with the today's achievements without self-criticism and lack of appreciation. You can de-stress simply by:-

a)Thinking of the happy memories.
b)Taking time out to build beautiful memories today.
c)Dwell your thoughts in the aroma of your favorite flower.
d)Talk to someone when any thought keeps haunting you.
f)Stop. Take a break. Breath in, breath out.
g)Organize your thoughts

If you want to know how to be happy in spite of misery and failure, always look towards finding the solution to the situation at hand instead of dwelling over it. There is a highly effective technique for instant relief from stress. Find the humor in the contents.

But, it requires a brave heart to laugh over misfortune or at oneself.
The most important driving factor is your self-determination. It is when we search deep within ourselves we realize that we have the innate strength invested by Mother Nature to fight stress. And if you are still puzzled in the quest of how to be happy, just smile.